Gary Woltal's Blog

Our wonderful friend and fellow Realtor Debe Maxwell from Charlotte has started up a new Group within the Rain on Local History. Feel free to join up, read and post, learning about all our local community's history. I know many of those I consistently read here have much to tell in this area.

~ Gary

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. 

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. 

Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. 

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. 

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

                                                HAPPY EARLY THANKSGIVING

In Stephen Covey's book from yesteryear, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the seventh habit is Sharpening the Saw. I always thought that was a great one. One about refreshment in our lives before going out and chopping down more trees by sharpening that old axe. With some down time for many of us with Thanksgiving, some refreshment is in order.

Sharpening the saw has to do with rest, doing some additional reading or study in our field, essentially polishing ourselves up before venturing out into the world again with its ups and downs and stresses. But if you know me, here I go again having

    Another Take on Sharpening the Saw.

I've often laughed that we need good physically fit bodies in life. Why? To carry our brains around. But our brains are more than just thinking. Our brains house our emotional and spirit sides. How we feel. The baggage we carry from the past. How confident we are. In this sharpening of the saw, work very hard at "boosting" those emotional and spirit sides. You know you have succeeded because you feel good "despite" your circumstances.

Be around lots of good people. Laugh. Play. Be around pets. Be silly. Have fun. Give warm hugs and kisses. Be generous with your love and time. Say I love you, a lot. Smile. Make warm eye contact. Write those notes and emails to friends.

Don't forget to pray or meditate or immerse yourself in nature.

With focus on your spirit, and pumping yourself up with music, or inspirational readings, events, or activities, it will do even MORE for you than recharging that thinking side of your life. Spiritual and emotional boosting will add MUCH ENERGY to your life. Try it. See the difference a BIG LAUGH will make in your day and in the life of another. Make that connection And remember another take on sharpening YOUR saw.

Advanced Realtors marketing their sphere this time of year are taking advantage of noting the next holiday coming up and either phoning their top 100 in their sphere or sending out Thanksgiving best wishes in advance of the normal Christmas contact and holiday greetings.

It got me to thinking of launching these preemptive specialness strikes to all of those important to us in our lives, both friends and family.

I reiterate often how short life is, and to live in the present. That makes taking care of and tending to those in your life who are of value to you, and yes who you love, don't be afraid of that word. Human contact, constantly interacting with people we hold high is an essential component for all of us having high self esteem. I contend always that we can be happy "despite" our life circumstances with an ample dose of love from all that make up our support systems.

You being the initiator of these preemptive strikes of specialness to others in your life takes the burden off them from making the first move. So reach out and touch those in your life, children, teens, and adults and tell them, well that they are just pretty darn special to you. It will make the world a brighter place.

In today's economic climate there are a lot of "feelings" swirling around in Real Estate and in industry in general. Let's see we have panic, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, agitation, stress, worry and uncomfortableness to name a few. One might say they are depressing times or exciting times depending on your half empty glass or half full glass perspective. We never REALLY know the end of the story until time passes a little further along. We could be on the cusp of something great and we just have to get through the bottoming out phase.

But one feeling you may have as an individual many times in your life is that of being bored.

 Being Bored Is A Good Thing.

It signals we need to jump into action. Put our thinking cap on. Get creative with new directions.

Do not think of yourself as in one box your whole life. Even in your present situation you could be in multiple boxes. I know a one person company where a woman calls herself a Chief Strategy Officer, rather than just Owner.

To take this wonderful feeling of being bored a step further, believe in life there ARE no such things as coincidences. If you are bored, it is for a reason. You can ignore it, or act on it. With relationships it doesn't mean dumping boring hubby or that spouse that doesn't excite you anymore, it means shake things up a bit. Put your thinking cap on and see what can you do to jazz up your experience.

Boredom is part of a natural ebb and flow of life. Maybe a pause between the high highs and the low lows. But it is a signal to make a shift. One strategy to alleviate boredom is to try many new things. You don't have to do many of them well, or any of them well. Just try different things. By not doing many of them well, you can let yourself off the hook and the pressure that you must be this perfect person. Try cooking. Try a new part time job. Try Toastmasters. Try volunteering. God forbid, try something new with your blogging. Life is NOT meant to be a stale experience. Draw your inspiration not from thinking about something day after day, but by immersing yourself in life and DOING SOMETHING, or many things, whatever they may be.

Find in your life PASSION, CRAZINESS, and COLOR. Pay attention to your feelings from what you tried. Did you sort of like that cooking class? Not for you? Loved it? The feedback signals from what you try, the WOW factor, will get you off the boredom track, and on to the thriving track.

Afterall in this market, none of us just wants to exist, or just survive. The key is to continue to THRIVE in all that we do. Granted, we don't THRIVE constantly. But like a little bush that gets the sunlight and the water, you have to trim off a few branches here and there that will make the buds pop out, and by springtime you will be in full bloom. So next time you're bored, embrace it, because just around the corner for you coming up is a world of color.

I get to play teacher today. One gift I absolutely have been blessed with is seeing what others don't see. I call it a cross-wired brain. Today's lesson

  SEEING THE INVISIBLE MAN.

It is the ability to see past the surface of people. Seeing their potential.

The old TV show had the Invisible Man taking off his wrappings and then there was nothing there. Yet he was really there and could be a force in the world, lifting objects, having others feel him. But on the surface you couldn't see that part. It is a mistake to not understand the invisible. Very shallow thinking.

Since I can see the "invisible" readily here are some tips for you to raise your awareness of your vision.

1) Listen between the words to the tone of what people say. Is it positive or negative? What is their mood?

2) Also with regard to words written or spoken, listen to what is NOT being said.

3) Pay attention to all non verbal body language. Folded arms mean a closed stance. Fidgeting means nervousness. A warm smile means friendly. A sincere non-penetrating eye contact means engagement and paying attention to you.

4) Look at the shoes. Look at the grooming. All clues to a person's total state. It reflects their attention to detail and organizational skills, and where they've been in their day.

5) Look and listen REALLY HARD for their outer and inner beauty. I call this the "Cinderella effect." Just because someone may be dishelved or not have that today natural beauty does not mean first on the outside they couldn't spruce themselves up with some teeth whitening, cosmetics, skin care or a good bubble bath. Next look for the inner beauty. There is an inner spirit, peaceful or agitated. Listen to the laughter or lack thereof. Look for smiles or frowns. Have complete faith that persistent frowns can be turned around into gorgeous smiles with a little love and the right environment.

6) Look for toxicity. Some people's invisible side shows a lot of moral turpitude. A snake oil salesman if you will. Smile in your face but steal your wife or husband at the drop of a hat. Some people never grow up.

7) With children always let them see in YOUR eyes the high expectations of GREATNESS. This is planting seeds in their invisible sides of what they can become. Kind of a reverse seeing the invisible, but creating the invisible.

8) Finally, work hard at listening with your heart. It is a feeling, and emotional connection you have to be patient with to tie into. Helen Keller who was both blind and deaf had this down pat. She said "The most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt in the heart."

Let you heart be the compass, the true guide in seeing all that is invisible in other people. Trust me, from someone who is VERY good at this, it will never let you down.

If there's one thing I could stamp out in life (besides poverty) it would be frustration. With gloomy skies seeming to be around housing industry and financial workers daily these days, the frustration of paying bills and managing finances just never goes away. Options need to be developed of course, maybe short term working in areas that aren't your specialty but never lose sight of getting back on track and always trying to be good at

Playing Your Own Tune!!

This is listening to your inner voice. Doing what you were born to do. Loving your work so you lose track of time with it. You are amazed people pay you to do this. Having passion. Not a career, but a vocation.

Your inner voice message may change as you get older shifting from success to significance.

That is ok too. But strive to listen to it. It will signal you. It really signals you when your core says something is wrong. You may have those sick and tired of being sick and tired thoughts. You may have this weird technique like I do, that you know in life what you "Don't" want. For example I steered myself into jobs with being shackled to a desk many years ago, and it was so NOT me. I wanted to go out in the world and set up meetings, have lunch with people, drive deals home. Shackled at the desk for me at least was suffocating.

Another  technique to zero in on whom you are, and what tune you are "supposed" to be playing is taking personality tests like Meyers-Briggs and the DISC model. You can search them out online. I have found them suprisingly to be amazingly accurate. You'll learn a lot by reading the assessment. It will be an ah-hah moment where you will step back and say that is me.

Look at celebrities. Who are you like? I see myself as Richard Branson of Virgin Atlantic Airways floating hot air balloons over the Atlantic. Now if I only had his money. I am working on it.

Listening to your inner voice and playing YOUR tune extends to our work, the relationships we select, and to the life we design. Be a little patient if it all doesn't add up for you in one week. But don't take a lifetime to figure out who you are or the next version of yourself you want to be in a new life. Where you want to live and who you want to be around and what you are doing should come to you sooner rather than later. Go for it.

In a span of 10 to 15 years you can go from rags to riches and even back to rags again. So do not be disheartened where you are at exactly at this moment in time. It is much more important to know exactly WHO you are, what you like, what makes YOU, YOU, and get out there and play that tune of yours. Afterall, that's what in the end will make you the most happy. And isn't being happy what will make you the best YOU?

I awoke to read many of this fan's favorites blogs today including ever humorous and lovely Susan Mangigian (West Chester, PA) and wanted to see what she had to say. Seems like she had been hit with the new MeMe running around on the Rain which to me looks like a version of a book report.

She was especially nice enough not to tag me, but it didn't take long and other wonderful pranksters came along in the form of Melody Bottling (The Colony, TX) and Patricia Beck (Colorado Springs, CO) and they got me. Seems you point at the nearest book to you and do the following:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next two to five sentences.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the intellectual one. Pick the Closest.
6. Tag five people to do the same

*The one book that this can not be is the Bible*

My book on my desk is called Tribes by Seth Godin. While I haven't cracked it open yet it is about social networking and the Internet and how less than famous people band together about their collective interests and a leader comes from these groups. Probably very fitting for all of us who blog away writing and reading here on Active Rain. Now you know what your mad scientist's brain here is thinking about understanding next. Sorry Susan, I am still hopelessly a non-fiction reader. I promise to do better. Anyway from pg. 56 on...

Folks who do nothing but mindlessly follow instructions let you down in two ways. First they are not going to do the local leadership when tribe members interact.... Second, they're not going to do a very good job of recruiting new members to your tribe.

Sounds like Seth is a strong proponent for leaders, wherever they come from.

I am going to be a leader "rulebreaker" and not torture any more folks with this particular MeMe. My not so random act of kindness for the day. Enjoy all your reading. You will grow most in the next five years from the people you meet and the books you read.

Ok, you are probably thinking this is an article about overweight women with large thighs. Wrong, oh mustard breath. Good guess though. It is actually a thought or two about preparation by we professionals.

I think this comes from my Scouting roots and that Be Prepared motto we had. How often do you hear of Realtors dashing out the door with a coffee in one hand, nothing to eat, dropping the cell phone, shoes untied, all to meet a client that they've lost the address where they are?

DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOUR SADDLEBAGS.

Ok, for illustration purposes I am using a picture of a bike. A woman's bike. Guys, use your imagination for your version.

In being a top notch professional of any kind these days, to stand out from the riff raff, remember a few things.

1. Eat a good breakfast in the morning to fuel you for the day.

2. Have your clothes, keys, cell phone all laid out the night before.

3. Prepare for working with clients the day before, with lists of houses to visit, locations, pertinent info on number of bedrooms/baths/square footage/amenities.

4. Expect the unexpected. If someone cancels or the schedule gets jumbled, in your mind have some Plan B's or Plan C's to be efficient with your time.

5. Have all your relevant contract paperwork handy, in the PC, or paper copies in a folder.

6. Use checklists judiciously to NOT forget key items you need for the day.

7. Have items in your vehicle, which is fueled up and clean, for the conditions, umbrellas, water, flashlights, etc. No one is perfect in this area of course, but work towards the ideal.

8. Above all, prepare for what can always be a trying, hectic, and hard working day with a "good attitude." Be around supportive people you know, read inspirational material, laugh at funny things you see along the way. Don't take yourself too seriously.

By packing your saddlebag on your bike with all the goodies you need for the day (I recommend a tootsie roll stash BTW), life just seems to roll along just a little easier. Hey, you might even meet a friend and put them on the handlebars and create your own bicycle built for two. Share a tootsie roll with them and with the smiles you create you'll know all that preparation ahead of time was well worth it.

Two little "Life Is Too Short" aphorisms struck me this week from reading and talking with people. All our days are numbered. We need to be the best in our relationships. We need to be our best in service to others. Think about real estate, lending, staging, many of the housing related jobs. All about customer service. We provide service to our clients. We serve our co-workers, partners, friends and family. But these two phrases really stuck with me because if you were to die tomorrow doing these two, you would be hitting on all cylinders I think. You would be at the epitome of working in life with a Servant's Heart.

The first phrase is

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

It usually is associated with the restaurant business to fix the entree that wasn't cooked to your liking or running back and getting you another glass of cold water from the kitchen, or a condiment you requested like some ground pepper or such. But think in all our levels of service to ANYONE you serve. Some mothers in families around the table at Thanksgiving act like this when all the guests arrive around the holiday dinner table. So keep in mind that whatever you want to others in being generous to them.

The second phrase is

I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD.

You might think this relates to a big wedding invitation, an invite to a party, or a fun family reunion in Hawaii. But what it mainly means is that YOU are so important to someone in their life they put you ahead of everything else on their schedule. It is such a great feeling when someone treats you this way. Once again, an extreme act of generosity not with food or money, but with something even more precious to all of us, our time. Afterall, our time is our life. There is an expression that you like someone who checks their calendar and makes time for you but you cherish someone who doesn't even have a calendar for you.

Try to integrate these two phrases of the highest form of service, the highest standards of generosity, into your life. And be acutely aware when those VERY rare persons in your life treat you this way. For afterall, the greatest among us are the ones that serve the very best.