Gary Woltal's Blog

With the turning of colder weather and more rain toward the winter months for many of us, have you carved out comfortable places in your life? Seattle folks have coffee houses. Some wives say their men have man rooms with the big screen TVs. Some have "happy places." Reading rooms or formal living rooms that are quiet may be an option. What about basements for refuge in the northern states? I like to think people stop by here as a little oasis in their day.

WHAT ARE YOUR OASES OF COMFORT IN YOUR LIFE?

A trend noted by the Marketing department of the Harvard School of Business says that a new class of consumer will slow the economy down further. Unlike the go go days of the late 90's and 2000's of buying large screen TVs, SUVs and oversized houses for three families when only a couple lived there, that era is now coming to an end. One new consumer type is being called a "Simplifier" and they are turned off by the old marketing messages of buy more.

They no longer listen to the song about more material stuff but want more experiences, education, health care, and social. They feel they already have ENOUGH stuff.

The uniqueness of having Hummers when all their neighbors drive them means nothing as far as status goes anymore.

Other trends now include leasing cars, renting vacation homes, and they can outsource some of their lifestyle.

So out with the SUVs. Sell them off if you can. Downsize the large homes where you are heating rooms with no one using them or with scattered geographically family with no one visiting. The trend now is to have a more stylish, intimate home and not a big box. The Simplifiers have mastered getting rid of their junk with the likes of using the Internet and eBay. By pulling in the reins on their spending this class of consumer while satisfying their own lifestyle needs does not help the overall economy grow.

It is a dilemma for those trying to move people up to larger houses as their wealth increases when now they don't care. And of course with the stock market woes, that wealth increasing is not a given for many nowadays. Be aware of these mid lifers and their shifting lifestyle priorities.

In setting the stage for this topic I want you to imagine that you are a little child ready to go out on the big stage of the elementary school auditorium. You are to walk out in front of 500 people to a microphone and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We all have been there at some point in our life. It is stage fright. You want to run back into the arms of loving Mommy or your teacher. You are "paralyzed" with fear. Your throat is dry and you can't move let alone talk. Your heart is racing.

Although Stage Fright could probably be considered a higher form of fear in our life, towards the panic end, I bring that up so you know that whatever level of fear you encounter it is still that completely awful feeling inside of immobility. You cannot move forward.

In life, in all its forms you can work through fear and trepidation. The biggest benefit to one's career, one's relationships, one's life is you will attain the most, be the most of your potential, and be at the most peace if you learn to work with fear.

Don't deny fear. New relationships - will it work or not, a new job, anxiety over a health diagnosis, an unexpected turn of events financially, a snake crosses your path ~ fear in many forms is VERY, VERY real.

Why do we run from fear as a coping mechanism? It has to do with our comfort zones, and pointing ourselves toward security. I'm not saying practice hanging out on ledges of 45 story buildings but actually moving towards the fear works toward diminishing it.

Look towards heroes in your life. OK, I gravitate toward Batman here on Active Rain as my alter ego since he stamps out Jokers and gets to pal around with Catwoman.

But heroes are those you see around you that are getting through the fear and making progress. Look at Steve Irwin from his Crocodile Hunter days picking up crocodiles and snakes and showing us all that they were just creatures of nature and that we could learn from them.

Look at Mother Teresa pushing past cultural differences and religious challenges with the Indian government to get people dying in the streets to have a few more peaceful days of life and a bit of dignity before dying.

Look at Abraham Lincoln at great cost to him personally trying to preserve the Union with many hating him severely who wanted two separate countries and finally taking a bullet because of it.

Fear Not! It is a command we are given in life. Remember the why in fear not. That why is because YOU are special and loved by both God and those in your life who count on you.

Where there is fear there is not love. Amplify the love in your life and the fear will diminish.

Be brave so that those who love you can count on you.

With less fear, you will go VERY, VERY far in life. Keep working on it over time. Move towards the fear and give it a great big bear hug.

You'll see. All of a sudden that big bear won't seem very big anymore. And those little eyes watching you will be all the more proud of who you turned out to be. You have found courage.

The best way out is always through and when we fear not, that is when we begin to live.

I ask other Realtors all the time what background did they work in past lives? Many have come out of the field of "Human Resources." That's the old "Personnel" department if you have been around long enough. You know the managing headcout guys. I've always hated that headcount term. Kind of like working bodies. Stiffs. But as an individual are you

    UtilizingYour Own Human Resources?

Time: They only make so much of it.

Energy: When do you have the most of it, physically and mentally, till you poop out?

Money: More of it greases the skids easier.

People: Delegate what you don't do well.

Health: Stay fit and healthy or pretty much all your ideas for doing something can go down the tubes.

Refresh, recharge, sharpen the saw: Get enough sleep, tap into your spirituality. Build a "huge" loving support system to anchor into when the world goes to hell and a handbasket. Reflect often.

Education: Get that training, that degree, read, experience life. You know what? They can never take it away from you and learning, formal or hard knocks, serves as a tool box for you to draw from when you need it.

The old saying that the main reason you will be different than the average Joe the Plumber five years from now is the books you read and the people you meet. That and applying all you learn to go in the direction you want AND knowing what RESOURCES are there at your disposal. You are richer than you think if you look in that goodie back you built for yourself and draw out the exact "human resource", your own personal resource that makes you stand out from others in the faceless crowd.

If you work with enough people over time your see the spectrum of the age groups of life from people working to buy starter homes with children to seniors looking for retirement living. It is a great reminder to all of us of the swiftness of time and that our days, whether we acknowledge them or not, are numbered. Life is indeed short.

A mature way to take in life is to

         Don't Blink.

You don't want to miss ANY of those fleeting moments. And they are fleeting. The same people are not around you for the whole journey.

      Don't Blink   (click here)

I think I have this one figured out. It can help out with the long faces in real estate and society that I see entirely too often these days. It has to do with having a realistic view of what makes you happy. It's

    The Lucy - Charlie Brown Effect.

It all has to do with "attachment" to an expectation. Charlie Brown attaches to the fact that he "thinks" Lucy will hold the football and he can kick it. The way the world really works is she may let him kick it or may pull the ball away.

Unhappiness comes from a death grip in your mind attaching what you think the outcome will be. To be truly happy you need to loosen the grip or let go entirely of the grip of the outcome.

This is the let the chips fall where they may strategy. You want to drive to your expected result but don't be surprised if life throws a few Lucy scenarios in your path that you don't see coming. Many say hope for the best, and expect or prepare for the worst. I might not go that extreme cause basically I'm optimistic and think you win more than you lose with the right attitude.

But practice a little "detachment" to the outcomes in your life. Think of it like planting seeds where some just do not blossom. This is disappointing of course, but you are the good gardener. Observe the wilted plants or those that don't even break the top soil and just think "isn't that interesting?" Keep planting good seeds. Afterall you're a Charlie Brown in the world. One of the good guys (or gals). You may not always get the respect or outcome you expect. But trust me, the world needs a lot more Charlie Browns. Their hearts are made of gold.

It used to be with stress, they had these little balls, stress balls I think they were called, that you squeezed on and off, and supposedly this was the magic de-stresser cure for all your problems. Nowadays you are

  Needing More Than A Stress Ball.

What you need is a laughing stress ball. In the face of disaster, impending doom, all hell breaking loose, try this. It's MORE than a smile, more than positive affirmations, more than warm fuzzy hugs.

     LAUGH !!!!!!!

How do you laugh, or do that, with problems? Just try by exclaiming a loud

     HA !!!!!!

for everyone in the room to hear. Yes they will think you are crazy, but you will have controlled the madness swirling around. Laugh early, laugh often.

Preserve your sanity. Life really is good!!!

In the world of silly contests funny ones that always occur to me include timed hot dog eating where two people gorge themselves to eat the most hot dogs within a certain amount of time. But, did you know they also have National Cannonball Championships? This dude here in this picture is a champion. You know, cannonballs. Jumping in the water all balled up trying to make the biggest splash, or empty the pool of all its water. The opposite of Olympic diving where a splash is a deduction of points. It seems cannonballing would be my kind of sport, always seeing the world opposite from all the traditionalists. But in your real estate work, in your career, in your personal life,

   Are You The Best Cannonballer You Can Be?

Namely, are you having any significance, any impact with making things happen or touching people's lives? The key word is "impact." I personally call it being a difference maker. You actually can tell, if you are brave enough, by just asking people. I could get on the phone or an email with every one of my regular readers of my blog and tell them how "definitely" they have had an impact on me. Hopefully to some of them I have "impacted" them as well. Same with clients and local friends and family. 

Make sure in life you are cannonballing and not being a wet noodle. You want your days to count for something. You want to to empty the pool of all its water and be known as the troublemaker. Maybe being called a weirdo to some extent. If you stand out, know that you are making an impact. I am telling you to recognize that as a "good" thing. It proves to yourself and to the world that you are being you. You don't have to be a 350 pounder to be a cannonballer. Just be aware that what you say and do, what mountains you move, and what you put in motion is a result of who you are. Embrace that and have a good time in life splashing the water on those on the sideline lounging in the chairs. Trust me. They will remember you. And that makes it all the more worthwhile. What starts as a disgusted look at you ends up as smiles between all those you are able to get wet with your surprising and "impactful" self.

Somewhere in a past life I had canaries and parakeets as pets at the house and other than them coming out of the cage flying around the house banging into the walls and hiding in the Christmas tree I mainly remember them for their droppings on the gravel paper liner at the bottom of the cage. This was cause they loved me.

Are You Leaving Your Droppings With Those You Love?

What I mean by that are love notes, extra emails, voice mails. surprise hugs, pecks on the head, looking at them eyeball to eyeball, making a silly face, sticking your tongue out at them, giving them that seductive wink...

This is the language of love for our spouses, significant others, children, friends, and anyone else in your life you care about. These "droppings" show day in and day out you care. You really care. Really caring seems to be a lost art form these days, but since we are talking new Presidents lately, maybe it's time to get a new mandate and the word out that, "The world needs more droppings."

In the business world of real estate, droppings or constant contact, will yield the potential for more referrals.

If you are an advanced lover in the world, we'll call this the Love 201 class, you leave your droppings for even those you aren't particularly fond of. And if you take the Love 301 class, you leave droppings for your enemies. They really will think you are nuts and by you loving them so much they probably won't want to be your enemy anymore because they'll just want to get away from a crazy person.

So don't worry about the droppings you leave in the world. They really are your legacy. And you know another thing about droppings, I mean love? It is the only thing in the end that lasts.

With many people finding in buying houses these days that the lenders are offering up tougher requirements to get that home loan, I see them throwing their hands up saying they are just not lucky I guess.

The idea of whether luck exists or not has always fascinated me. I think luck is a human conclusion on an observation of life and doing a judgment call. I also think you have your best chance for good luck when your preparation meets an opportunity presented to you. Kind of like a well prepared football team being able to win the Super Bowl.

But if you delve deeper into the whining of people and the age old question of why sometimes bad things happen to good people, the answer is to stop asking that question. There is no definite answer, although there is probably a reason in the Cosmos beyond our reasoning ability.

Life seems neither fair nor unfair. If you live long enough you will have your share of each. Life is incredibly neutral actually. What you need to do is get good at

       Hanging Out In Your Lucky Bathtub.

What I mean by that is think of your circumstances many times as like a roll of the dice.

Two dice. Twelve possible numbers. Say seven and eleven are your hot, winning numbers. Your ecstatic times. Your times when you hit the jackpot. Great romances. Great sold or purchased houses. Wine, women, and song. Other numbers rolled might be heartache, distress, headaches, financial hardship, illness, cancer scares, hurts and pains. Some other middle numbers might be ho hum days. Nothing really bad but not those ecstatic days.

The trick with hanging out in your lucky bathtub is despite whatever the dice rolls for you for the day, for the month, for the year, your "reaction" to life's events is what matters most. Not the circumstance itself. You can be lucky EVERY day "handling" what you rolled. Maybe you have to put less chips on the table the next time you roll to be more conservative. Maybe you have a hot streak and more chips go on your bet because you are most confident and your plans are working.

Just remember in your bathtub, enjoy the warm water that is your light inside. No roll of the dice can take that away from you. Laugh at the bad dice you rolled and come back with a smile to take another roll. Share and celebrate with others when the dice come up good for you. But above all believe you are lucky EVERY day you get to splash around in your little bathtub. It means you're still in the game.