Gary Woltal's Blog

In driving around neighborhoods, I've always liked the sense of community that it implies. I say, implies, because some neighbors know each other better than others in reality. With the neighborhood of the world, that is true as well. We only know each other to a certain depth.

But when you think about it, those that we do know, how many fall into that category of

     LONG LOST FRIENDS AND FAMILY?

We all lead busy lives. But checking in with each other on a regular basis is not only the right thing to do but the loving thing to do as well. There are many sad stories of shut ins and nursing home lives that are a tragedy in our times.

I have always liked this story to illustrate this:

AROUND THE CORNER  by Charles Hanson Towne

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks run on, And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friend's face, For life is swift and a terrible race, He knows I like him just as well, As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then, And now we are busy, tired men, Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim. Just to show that I am thinking of him." But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away, "Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today." And that's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner a vanished friend.

My model in my life to avoid this is to be half as good as all the dogs I have had in my life. To ALWAYS be there for my friends and family and to express unconditional love.

Reaching out and touching and "checking in" makes all the difference in the world in your life to those you care about.

             CAT'S IN THE CRADLE

With buyers they are searching for the American dream. They are ultimately in a quest for what might be considered a piece of happiness. Some find it in a new place. Some experience something different than they expected many years later. Life has many twists and turns.

I have been following the story in China about

     THE HAPPINESS INDEX.

It seems with growing economic power the individual Chinese are going from poverty to owning cell phones and laptop computers. They feel more happy as their material wealth increases. Like a kid in the candy store with too much selection they want more, more, and more. Some Chinese are on to this fallacy and want instead to contribute in some way to society with inventions or service.

In the U.S. much has been documented about mid life crises. Women worrying about getting fat and fading beauty, men wanting to feel masculine and grab a young trophy wife before they are over the hill.

But the reality is money or beauty are temporary and will not lead to happiness. Granted, it may make you less miserable.

Getting things that we want will not make us happy. It will just get us what we want, and then we will want something else. Is it alright to pursue wealth and beauty? Surely this is ok. Yes, but not for their own sake, but for how it makes us feel inside or what we do with the money for others.

The fact of the matter is external circumstances do not create lasting happiness.

You want to figure out this happiness question because happiness enhances your creativity, gives you more energy, productivity, and longevity. Who wouldn't want that?

There is a certain alignment with who you are supposed to be in your world and what you are pursuing to get there. Yet happiness is an effect like a butterfly landing on your finger. It comes to you. You can't chase it and capture it.

With happiness you will find contentment. Boy, wouldn't that be nice? I observe entirely too many people not content. Do you know happy people face stress, crises, even tragedies and are still happy?

They are committed to their ambitions, have enduring and deep social networks, live in the present moment, constantly express gratitude, and have worked on their spiritual side.

The secret of happiness lies within ourselves.

Be a person on the top end of the Happiness Index. The "real" Happiness Index. And take all your fellow man along for the ride.

Life is meant to be enjoyed!!

When you see the joy in the step when first time home buyers lock in on a house to buy, how can I describe it? Maybe, happy feet. So too,

      LIFE IS A SWEET MELODY.

It seems to be at it's most joyous when things are in order and when things go together. Just look around. You have peanut butter and jelly, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chips with salsa. Some things just go together.

It's called the melody. It's the core of what makes music have that order that it does and you catch yourself stomping your feet to.

With the 4th of July you have fireworks. With a good friend you have laughs and love. With your child you have smiles and hugs.

Do not make harmony and sweet melodies in life hard. Go with the flow. Give in. Be vulnerable. Reveal yourself. You will attract into your life that which was meant to be.

Did you know that harmony can happen even without music? It does in life, it does even in song. See the link below. But above all know that the melody is the flow of your life and the harmony everything around it that amplifies it up to a joyous level. Take it all in. Risk to love. Dance. And learn to have Happy Feet each day.

      FOR THE LONGEST TIME

In our thinking about problems whether it be in Real Estate or in our personal lives, I have heard we need to wrap ourselves around the problem. Like a

         HEAD WRAP.

What I mean by that are two things:

1. If you are to solve a problem you need to Work smart. It is developing mental toughness. You need to have resolve. This is not easy especially when you may be multi-tasking and can't see the solution. Think of Tiger Woods and that level of mental toughness. You will have setbacks, but stick with it. Focus. Do not let the bumps dissuade you from the goal. Concentrate.

2. Work hard. This is so vastly underestimated I cannot explain it to you. Do you know a majority of REALTORS do not work hard? I won't pick only on that profession but many others truly do not work hard when they work. They would rather "slide" by. Nothing beats hard work in getting the job done.

         SO, WORD UP,  Don't be a Bonehead !!!

          (not exactly Michael Jackson)

In the Amazon rainforest in South America all sorts of flora and fauna thrive. Big words for plants and animals. But the key word here is "thrive."

For Realtors, Stagers, and others in our industry serving consumers it is important to thrive, not just go through the motions as a professional.

In the Rainforest the elements that allow the thriving to take place include ample supplies of warmth from the sun and water from rain.

With professionals, thriving comes from preparation. And preparation comes from practice and education.

With regard to education, the key is to be a "continuous" learner. Learn from all sources: formal, other people in your industry, people outside the industry, books, magazines, tapes, video, and also just noting what lessons you learn from your experiential  world.

Did you know with even social networking you can learn a lot about people, their lives, what is working for them, what is not? What makes them laugh, cry, or enjoy life?

They say if you are not green and growing you are brown and dying. I prefer the former. Be a continuous learner.

In getting along with clients of all age groups and personality types it is worthy to know that you need to

          BUST A MOVE WITH YOUR HOMIES.

Translation: Give a little to get along. Find common ground with interests, family, work, similar tastes in music, food, or home design.

Some clients will never be an ideal match for a REALTOR.

But one basic rule to follow, if you can make them as close to a friend as possible they will more naturally like you. In liking you it takes you to a level of devotion that you are hoping to achieve in a strong working relationship for buying or selling a home or later on for referrals. So much they say in sales is similar to love of fellow man. Go the extra mile. No one cares how much you know till they know how much you care. Your enthusiasm for THEM will really come across.

Dance the dance of human relationships. Become a master at this and you will go far. They will be your Homies in no time flat.

And from our autistic friends a little reminder...

  HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU

In discussing older houses with an associate REALTOR she commented to me that this might be a niche she would focus on. In our area, this would mean the 1950's and 1960's houses. Elsewhere in the country there are those specializing in homes dating back to the 1800's. It got me thinking though about those older homes, and in particular my boyhood home.

A few years ago I got to re-visit a boyhood home on Long Island after having been away from there for 35 years. I concluded what many say often:

      YOU CAN'T EVER GO BACK HOME.

The house seemed so much smaller, the nearby schoolyard had a rusty chainlink fence. The recreational park did not seem nearly so open with all the retail built up around it. We may lament that things aren't as they used to be but I think they are EXACTLY how life should go.

WE JUST DON'T HAVE THOSE TIME MACHINES TO DRIVE US BACK TO OUR OLD HOMES.

Yes, hometowns and our roots are good to cling on to in our memories. But change is good too. Neighborhoods decline and then perhaps are reborn again with new families and fresh construction. Don't feel bad about change. Some towns do seem frozen in time like parts of Vermont and New Hampshire. The locals there prefer that. Think of Plains, GA. It is still sleepy. But with Jimmy Carter back residing there it will never be as anonymous as before.

We are built to move forward in life. We can't drive very fast while always looking in the rear view mirror. We really can't go back. We may have had some dancing on tables with lamp shades on our heads memories from these places that we'd sooner forget. But our real friends we pick up along the way when we make a fool of ourselves don't feel we've done a permanent job.

Have you visited any of your homes from many years ago? What was it like? How did it make you feel? Simon and Garfunkel had their take on it once.

                         MY LITTLE TOWN

While my father passed away nearly two years ago in August 2006, we both were very comfortable with the mortality of all our lives. We used to laugh that when you think about it we are all "terminal", some just get pronouncements from doctors if they get a terminal illness and an estimate about life expectancy. But each day we are all out there "dodging bullets" and you just do the best with the cards you are dealt. We both agreed that in death we would both see each other again some day. That is from our belief in our faith. But while separated it would be nice to have that heavenly telephone number to check in and see how things were going every once in awhile. In any event, I wanted to share my life lessons with you all from my father, John C. Woltal, Dad, from a son's perspective, and Uncle Johnny from my cousin's perspective:

Live each day to the fullest. Pack as much love and laughter in as possible.

Be patient. Everything is not on your schedule.

Mistakes are ok. Forgive quickly. Make the world around you approachable and safe for others to enter.

Be nonjudgmental. There is no time to love if you judge.

Take vacations.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Have fun every day. Do not be a workaholic.

Your example is living proof to the world who you are. Your ACTIONS speak volumes over your words.

Being gentle and quiet and of few words can make you more powerful than others who are loud and have many words to say.

Finally, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, be "KIND" to everyone. It doesn't matter who they are or how THEY are treating you. Your daily kindness will profoundly impact them. They'll take notice and how you are one of those real difference makers in the world.

I hope everyone has a Happy Father's Day whether you are a father in your family, you want to honor your father who is still with you or you are honoring those fathers who have passed.

Happy Father's Day Dad. I love you and you are still with me.

In going in and out of homes you get to see some pretty darn happy families among the mix. I have concluded with families and relationships between friends that

              HAPPINESS STARTS WITH STICKY FINGERS.

What I mean by that is first, in relationships between a parent and a child, between spouses, or between friends, it is a safe environment. It is ok to be yourself, to be different and to make mistakes.

Moreover a key element of the happiness I see has to do with what I call the residue of love. Think of it like having strawberry jelly stuck on your face.

Or still, even maybe another way, like having some milk and cookies with that thick whole milk. When you are done drinking up you have that film, that residue, that sticks to the sides of the glass.

That is how it is between loving parents and kids, between spouses, and between friends. They leave a little of themselves behind when you are away from them. It may be a note stuffed in their pocket, a hug or a kiss, a joke sent in an email, a special gift, a photograph, a card, a touching blog comment, an embroidered sweater, etc. Loving people are always leaving stuff behind. Almost by accident it looks like they are "sticking" in your life.

It's really no secret. You are just experiencing love. And with love comes happiness. The dear ones in your life whether they be your parents, children, spouses, or your friends have mastered this:

                        THEY ARE LEAVING FOOTPRINTS IN YOUR HEART.

In Real Estate Agent stereotypes there's nothing worse than encountering the pink haired lady. This surely was from many years ago.

This was the classic agent who showed you only "her" properties. You wanted a big backyard, she showed you Master Bedrooms with red paint. You wanted a big backyard, she showed you homes with marble bathtubs. You wanted a big backyard, she showed you homes with white Jefferson Memorial style columns in the living room. Do you get the picture here of a listening problem?

As a buyer you just wanted to SCREAM!!!

Hopefully in more modern times your agent will stand out from the crowd a bit better and do a more respectable job of listening to your needs.

But then again this is an entrepreneurial business and you might say still to this day many agents have a bit of an independent streak in them. So be careful out there.

All in all, you want to find someone who cares about YOU. It doesn't get any simpler than that.

Pray you don't get the Pink Haired Lady from yesteryear. But someone who has your best interest at heart. Someone who can guide you to where you are trying to head and that is: