Gary Woltal's Blog

My Realtor colleagues have lamented the pace of change with technology and how the speed of change seems each year to be taking something away from each of us. Texting rather than talking. Emailing rather than phoning or visiting. Typing rather than cursive writing. The personal touch has faded. What we need is a lesson in

        HOW TO AVOID YOU DON'T BRING ME FLOWERS ANYMORE.

This is where you take steps to not be overwhelmed by technology and information overload and neglecting people.

First off, let's not be cynical about the advantages of new technology. At the click of a Send button in an email you can send text, files, and images across the world in an instant. On the Internet or telephone you can share your thoughts and feelings. But you don't want to be a hermit and live in your upstairs bedroom on your computer your whole life or play video games for ten hours a day.

People want "real" connection. It comes down to time. In "bringing flowers" to people, you spend your most precious resource with them. Time. The heartbeats of your life. That way you do not get overwhelmed as you choose what you do with your time. People need your time. Give it to them.

It really isn't anymore complicated than that. You can't change the whole world and the pace of change and the speed of communication. But you can change and act on what is right in front of you. "Bring your flowers" to someone this week. You will feel better about the world and they sure will appreciate that you thought about them.

         YOU DON'T BRING ME FLOWERS

Buyers of homes have much to teach us about WHY they select and settle on a particular abode. Many veteran REALTORS will say in the end the woman selects the house. I think there is truth in that.

It isn't merely that they are better at flying by the seat of the pants than their male counterpart, it is because in general they are more in tune with their feelings. They inherently have better intuition. About what is the right place to settle into. To build the nest. To have a life.

I joke with my female friends and colleagues in this area, with my line, "Can I rent your brain?" They have this uncanny ability in many instances to

          FEEL THEIR WAY THROUGH THE MAZE

It is like walking through a wooded maze with a blindfold on and highly tuning into all the other senses remaining including feeling the emotion surrounding an environment to get to the right decision. On the spectrum of sensing we can range from clueless to psychic in figuring out what's going on. Have you ever heard of people that are good at understanding nonverbals or "reading people?" You'll notice on the talking heads shows when they have these mannerisms experts talking about a political candidate with the folded arms and the shifty eyes, invariably it is a woman giving the analysis.

Relying on intuition in our daily lives can be extended as to whether to participate in a social engagement or not. What do you feel the outcome of a party might be? From your past experience do you sense an invitation would be a waste of your precious time? In the book, Blink, the author encourages us to make decisions faster and rely on our gut feel which is correct more often than not. Some women have commented about the "virtual friends" they have met while blogging. How do they know they are friends when they have never met them? Trust me, they know. It is just something they are good at.

Think of true love. If you have ever experienced true love in your life with your lover, spouse, parents, a friend or your children what is that feeling? YOU JUST KNOW. You don't have to think about it. That inner voice is registering at the 110% level on the intuition meter.

I am always fascinated by past songs. I am inspired by songs that uplift me. Know your favorite songs. Sing along with them in your car so as not to embarass yourself. There is something in your favorite songs that calls to you and speaks to you about your intuition and your inner voice.

You are definitely not who you were ten years ago, yet at the same time your yesterdays are part of who you are today. Don't deny your past but frame it in your mind for the good parts that make you who you are today. Listen to your inner voice to find your way through the maze and it is okay to embrace your

                      YESTERDAY ONCE MORE

I have always learned much from older people. In Real Estate they are not interested in you texting them addresses on listings. They prefer advertising in print media. They want active lifestyles but want to know about the proximity of medical care. Above all I have enjoyed their wisdom and life experiences.

A well known older person was Anna Mary Robertson, also known as the famous painter, Grandma Moses. She grew up on a farm, worked hard, had ten kids, five of whom died when they were babies. She enjoyed sewing and embroidering and making pictures on fabric.

In her seventies because of arthritis in her hands she took up painting. Her first painting was done using housepaint. She had an exhibit called, "What a Farm Wife Painted." By the time she was 80 many people had heard of her and the paintings. The one here is called Beautiful World. Some original $10 paintings later sold for $60,000. One of her paintings, Fourth of July, was painted in honor of President Eisenhower and still hangs in the White House today. Edward R. Murrow had her on television showing people how to paint. Some of her paintings made the covers of Hallmark cards. When she reached 100 years old she painted illustrations for "Twas the night before Christmas." She died at 101 in 1961.

From humble roots born in Greenwich, NY she taught the world many lessons as an older person:

You can be successful beginning a career at an advanced age.

Despite hardship in life, with a good attitude you can accomplish great things.

You must make do the best you can with what you have.

Some of the best wrinkle lines on your face should be where you left smiles behind.

If you set out with a pure heart to do good in the world, it will pay off in some way even if you don't know how.

Pay attention to the older people and the elderly in your life. There is something golden going on right there in your midst. They won't be with you for very much longer so take good notes!

I am always inquiring of my buyers what their dreams are. They call a home the American dream. We need to hang on to our dreams.

With the 40th anniversary of Robert F. Kennedy's assassination I am reminded of two quotes he had along this line.

"Only those who dare to fail greatly,
can ever achieve greatly."

"There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"

Why are your dreams important? Because they represent all you were meant to be. Those seeds were divinely planted in you for you to achieve the greatness that is YOU. You were designed for happiness. You were designed for love. You were designed for laughter. You were designed for joy. You were designed to be free.

Never let anyone even for a minute take away from you all the specialness that is you. Yes, we may get detoured in life for one reason or another. But start imagining again. Go back and resurrect your dreams. Take them out from the shoebox. Your dreams are the heart and soul of who you are. Never let them go. Maybe you just needed someone with a little warmth, a little love to rekindle their flame and get you going in the right direction again. Go forth and pursue your dreams. It is who you are! 

The question for today is

      ARE YOU AN ICEBREAKER?

I have noticed in real estate and social networking settings some people can come into a strange crowded group of people and work a room. We can be characterized as wall flowers or social butterflies or anything in between. Usually shyness, practice, fear of acting stupid, self-consciousness, not feeling well, and lack of self-esteem are the reasons holding us back from going up to someone and introducing ourself. So it's a given if you are a more reserved type you are stuck in a fear state and not willing to explore the unknown.

I contend you are missing out on a big area of growth for yourself and especially for others to learn about you. You need to change your perspective. It really is about

   HOLDING OUT A HELPING HAND.

While you're afraid to meet smiling Susie or boastful Bob chatting away in the center of the room, you are failing to see that underlying their facade of apparently a successful person is all sorts of pain and growth that they need in their life that you can minister to. Maybe you're the one with the witty story or the funny joke or you just had a personal problem or family situation to tell them about that will heal them.

So next time you're melting into the wall with your nachos and dip on the edge of a room and meditating on the table candle, think this:

The world needs helping hands. Many of them. Most likely hands that look just like yours. There is a hunger in the world that is far greater than just for food. There is a hunger for love. Don't wait for others to bump into you. Reach out. Be that icebreaker. Get the action going. You will grow yourself and more importantly you will bring a light to others. The world needs YOU. GIVE THEM YOUR BEST!

Just in from NASA from our latest craft that landed on the Red Planet.

                        IT HAS BEEN REPORTED THAT THERE IS WATER ON MARS !!!

  Check it out .......

New photo just sent from across millions of miles of outer space.

I think I may have had a "Yoda" moment the other day. You remember that character from The Empire Strikes Back in Star Wars? Sage advice. The force be with you, and other gems.

This example was someone sitting on the fence between renting a home or buying a home. As REALTORS much guidance is given in assisting people with good information to make informed decisions. This particular event is not the point. Some people just have a hard time making decisions DESPITE good counsel. Now on to one Yoda-ism I always thought was good:

"There is no try, there is only do, and not do."

Keeping this in mind there is no procrastination.

Think of many times in your own decisions you wouldn't decide. In effect, not deciding IS a decision, but it NEEDS to be a decision to do nothing. Sometimes problems on their own do really go away. By making decisions you are the one in control versus floundering.

I have observed and I believe others have written about this, that very successful entrepreneurs are quick to assess and make a decision. I can best relate this to a football game and the head coach on the sideline. With the time clock ticking down, you are out of time outs, decisions have to be made on plays to be called on third and fourth down. Run? Pass? Kick a field goal? Hail Mary? You get the picture.

Make thoughtful decisions. Take reasonable time and gather information when it is an important decision. But be as Yoda suggests. A doer not a fence sitter. Help the people around you to get better at this as well as this becomes one of your strengths. And may this new force inside you BE WITH YOU ALWAYS.

In Real Estate terms, the Realtor for life praise one heaps upon themselves, on the one hand to me, at least, reflected dedication, but on the other hand it seemed a departure from reality. Who could really be in your life forever, or was it just an old cliche, and lip service to outstanding service and strong local ties with a community?

But like our newer generation Forever stamps, where one price from awhile back will make the envelope go through the mail despite stamp price increases, it got me to thinking about forever.

While the reality of life on this side of death would say nothing is permanent or "forever", I would challenge you to think about that for one moment. Despite people and places that come and go during your life you must admit, some things "stick." I would urge you to push the bad things in your life away from you as far as you can even if they have scarred you badly at one point. Instead, look at the good things.

Think of the places you have visited. Your areas of serenity and peace and beauty.

Hold on to those "good" memories.

Surely those are FOREVER for you.

This is a

       PLACE CALLED FOREVER.

Likewise think of those so many wonderful people you have met along the way in your life, whether they are present now, far away, or passed away.

Surely, you have met a few Superman or Superwoman types that have definitely touched your life and live on in your heart. You know you carry them with you. People are another

   PLACE CALLED FOREVER.

Never let anyone tell you FOREVER doesn't exist. For all the good things that mean so very much to you in your life, just pause for a minute, think deeply, and they are there. Just look in your heart. It's where you'll find a PLACE CALLED FOREVER.

                           WHAT'S FOREVER FOR

In glove compartments of cars of yesteryear you used to always find these oily regional or state road maps that assisted the navigator sitting in the front seat with the driver to get from places like New York to Florida for summer road trips and vacations. Today I think people Google map the whole trip out. As we take breaks from some real estate action here and there during the summer months it may be time to take a look at perspective on other road maps. Road maps of life and if you are on the right path. I have written before on activities in life that are not important-urgent, not important-not urgent, important-urgent, and finally important-not urgent. The latter being where you will find the most quality time.

But how do you find your way there? With a map. You want what is important to you in life done well with high effectiveness and high efficiency. Done right. Done on time and in the easiest way.

To be effective you need to come to a greater understanding of what you are trying to do. This requires knowledge, study and planning. Write your road map down and continually edit it. To be efficient with a plan, you need to become so familiar with it, that it is second nature to you. This requires practice, practice, practice. Then you won't be fumbling around on the road looking for where the rest stops and bathrooms and exits are.

So how do you find your road map to get where you want to go for quality time land? Plan and practice. It will land you in that quadrant of time perspective we really do want to spend most of our time:

        QUALITY TIME.   

Real Estate clients come into our lives with their perceptions and experiences. This, for those of us in the industry, we have to work with.

Likewise, we all have our baggage. Wouldn't it be nice along the way if when our baggage was a detriment to us similar to unleashing our first or second stage rocket booster, we would just

       LET IT GO

and get on to a new phase of our lives?

Our baggage could be considered anything that we have outgrown, old habits we wish to partake in no more, friends that have worn out their welcome, ideas we don't value anymore, places you don't want to be around anymore, etc. You are transforming yourself now to a new you. I think we probably have at least three or for new YOU's inside of us in a lifetime if we live long enough. You know the expression when a stage separates. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Take this job and shove it. They are all demarc points. Points to move on.

In the spirit of the summer TV rerun, I am going to include a video clip I had in one of my earlier written blogs about baggage. Baggage does not have to be all a negative. Our accumulated baggage can be the richness of our experiences, memories, family and friends, and all the people we meet along the way. I leave this message again because new readers may not have seen it and it is a good story about what life really is.

A journey. Perhaps like Life On a Train. Once again, climb on board and continue the adventure, even if along the road you just know you will need a boost or two.