Gary Woltal's Blog

In the cacophony of sounds that we are immersed in with our daily Real Estate work as well as other areas of life I have found that connecting with music is a highly rewarding experience. Like diving into the reading of a good book, or experiencing a "take me away" Calgon bubble bath moment, music has a powerful effect in connecting with our emotional side.

One of the key strengths of music I believe is "healing" our souls. Our inner being needs refreshment as much as our physical or mental sides.

"Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." William Congreve

This quote I have found to be so true. We all deserve not just a mental or a physical excursion to a spa but an inner healing that leads to a peaceful spirit. Do not underestimate that a peaceful spirit is a great strength to you. It is like your core. When there is harmony on the inside there is energy and exuberance and fun on the outside. Our inner spirit can get crushed by the world in so many ways. We can be hurt by how others treat us, what they say to us, our own selves being disappointed in not achieving our high expectations. But we can come back. We can live to fight again another day and not be defeated.

"Music" is a great healer in this regard. It is an inner joy that we must allow ourselves to indulge in. Whether it be through headphones at home or in the gym, in your car, in your media room, or if you play an instrument, allow music to enter your life daily.

What are you doing with your music? Is it part of your daily regimen of life? Have you slowed down to hear the music that is in harmony with your life rhythm? What kinds of music for you get you going? I want to know I am not the only one that gets this about music. Afterall, music should be

                        GENTLE ON MY MIND

I seem to have more and more strange things happen as life progresses. Like, when you think in Real Estate your opportunities for listings are drying up, another one materializes. I want to ask the question to the group

       DO YOU BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES??

I am convinced, and have been for some time that "NOTHING" is a coincidence. I firmly did not believe this way many years ago, even though I witnessed some amazing chance events in my own life. Like these friends of my parents that showed up one day encouraging they should think about letting me attend a faraway four year university that I had my heart set on. Their suggestion made it happen. Or health problems that turned into blessings in disguises. Or people that showed up out of the blue and you wondered why?

Many here on Active Rain I have met continue the mystery of the coincidence to me. Why this person? Why that person? Why do they gravitate to me? How can they come from seemingly out of nowhere into my life and bring such joy? I am convinced life has its own rhythms and if you are to play the game of life the right way you have to let it unfold. If it looks like a coincidence, well maybe it was meant to be. Just go with the flow.

So do you believe some things are "just" conincidences, or life is really sending you the right people, the right circumstances, the right places, the right opportunities, the right disappointments in exactly the order you need? I would really like your take on this, and if you have an example of your coincidence I would appreciate that as well. This part of life baffled me early on, but now not only am I amazed by it but am in awe of it. I appreciate you helping me with my therapy on this one.

Many of you may know if you haven't already heard that Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch, the famed Last Lecture speaker died Friday at age 47 of pancreatic cancer. Many have seen his inspiring video, but the sandbox we call life is a little emptier today because he is no longer with us. I included the short clip of the talk in case you don't know the story.

I encourage everyone to live each day like Randy did with spirit and a life lesson I learned from him is to not give up on ANYONE! Maybe they haven't developed as far along as you. We will miss you Randy.

    The Last Lecture

In the early days of software products there was a category called "shareware." This was either totally free or trial software. Examples like PDF Reader, WinZip, etc. Then these free giveaway apps moved to the web and the common traits were that they were free, useful, if not invaluable.

Social Real Estate Blogging is the same way looking at in hindsight. A place like Active Rain is free and all about the sharing. It is a

      Shareware Journal.

We may start from our Real Estate, Stager, Inspector, Loan Officer roots topics and then branch out. Some ideas for you if you are new or one with writer's cramp to share more of yourself with us:

Local posts, market stats, observations on work or life or people, tell me about your family, a joke or cartoon or funny situation, sadness or illness or grief in your life, a poem, a song that inspired you, something about technology or widgets or bar charts, a new twist you added to your business, a book report, a day in the life of YOU diary, your vacation photos, or last but not least a RANT!! I hope with my mini-list I can have a coffee (or tea) across the table from you today and really enjoy meeting with you.

What I have found about the best communicators, the most interesting people in this new media we call blogging, is first and foremost they are "conversationalists." They keep the dialogue going and check in every day or when they can find the time. Friendships are born and you take a keen emotional interest in their lives. It is amazing to watch. People actually caring about each other.

The ones in this category love life, give hope, value people, and share themselves. As far as two people across the virtual table from each other with their favorite warm beverage, let me tell you, it doesn't get any better than that. Grab a croissant and begin writing in your Shareware Journal. Bon Appetit!!

In real estate both as Agents, Stagers, and other professionals I think we can all relate some days to that famous painting of the Scream. Either the deals gone south and no pay day is in sight, or you have trepidation on a listing appointment how it might go, or you have call reluctance to call prospects for Staging, or you don't want to answer that call when you you know that Buyer is going to yell at you for something you overlooked, etc.

The best way to overcome our fears in life comes straight out of football. With my favorite sport college football around the corner I like to use what they say all the time

   THE BEST DEFENSE IS A GOOD OFFENSE.

In other words, embrace the fear. Go BEAR HUG IT. Do not run away from it. Your response to fear should be to ATTACK it. Get it before it gets you. Do a two pronged attack,

First believe in yourself that things will work out. Be optimistic. Second, for all the worst possibilities that can happen, be prepared. The old Boy Scout motto. Prep yourself before the big encounter. Figure out what might happen, what might go wrong, and be ready. Get ahead of the fear monster.

By embracing fear with confidence and being equipped and prepared you will know in your heart that you can succeed and be ready for everything that may go wrong along the way.

People that get real good at dealing with fear actually go the furthest in life. They do not allow themselves to be prisoners of their minds. They can be called very cool. Almost the laughing in the face of death types. I prefer to see them as the "No Limit" types. They inspire me every day. But most of all they are courageous. Courage is not being unafraid. It is working through the fear and seeing yourself to the rainbow on the other side of the storm. I have seen much of that lately with friends. It sure does restore my confidence in the faith that people have inside them. It makes me know they are very strong.

In presenting ourself to others in the world via real estate blogging, our brand, our marketing, or just ourself remember

         IT ALL COUNTS.

How we talk, the tone of our voice, how we write, how we dress, how we laugh or don't laugh, our choice of words, our grooming, our presentation, our response and timing, our energy, it all counts. Why some don't get this and act unprofessional, crude, hurtful, or mean is beyond me.

That's not to say in blogging or in life we can't be silly, or tell jokes, or never take a risk, or God forbid, make mistakes. But remember YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD TO OTHERS. Do not miss this point.

This is just a simple message today and one of my great life philosophers I knew from way back when said it much better than I can below. Just remember you are special. I think you are special. What you do with who you are uniquely in the world counts very much. Because, as you know now, IT ALL COUNTS!!

"The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt." ~ Leo Buscaglia

I have always liked fast cars. I went through four Camaros before I ever settled into family practical mini-vans and SUVs and stll have a high end horsepower Intrepid. There's just something about going fast. Nothing like acceleration and crusing and purring on the open road.

There is a pace to our life that can be accelerated too.                               

WE NEED TO FIRE UP OUR LOVE MACHINES.

In working with clients in sales of various industries over the years sales managers would constantly coach me that moving the deal along involves transferring a feeling. You need an emotional as well as a logical connection. This heartfelt response happens when the person you are communicating with not only "understands" why they want something, they "feel" they want something. You've amplified needs by adding a layer of passion on top of it. You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle. It's not four wheels and some shiny hub caps. It's you blazing a trail down the open highway at 140 mph with the top down. Woo Hoo. Are we having fun yet?

Transferring emotions into the world as love requires work. You have to connect with people on their level. Where they are at today. You need to understand where they are coming from. It has been said if we judge we cannot love.  We can be love machines outside business with our family and friends. Are you stingey with your love and emotions? Are you driving your love machine at a slow pace? Find others around you who have mastered this art of love and follow how they do it. It is an amazing dance when you see it. Clues are they bring smiles to others faces. They never intentionally hurt you. They go the extra mile for you. They do unexpected things for you. They are great at touching you. All the time.

A goal I have in driving my love machine is to pick up the pace. Ditch the 120 mph old model for the newer 180 mph one. You can always reach more people, touching more in the world. You haven't even scraped the surface of your potential. Take care of yourself first by fueling yourself with the high octane fuel you need to serve others. But once you're out of the pit stop, it is time to put the pedal to the metal.

Oftentime I hear that it is the quality of our relationships that matter. That is true, but do not forget the quantity of our love. Children especially need as much quantity of our love as we can give them.

So fire up that love machine, and hear the roar of the engines. You are off.... to touch as many with your love as you can. Trust me, once you pick them up, they will enjoy riding with you. We all seek those that understand us and accept us just as we are. Your love machine is the perfect vehicle to make that little joy ride happen.

                             SHOWER THE PEOPLE

We all live such busy lives these days. Those in real estate know this well. It can be up early, out the door, or if home officed starting working on your assignments for the day from the get go. Managing calendars is never easy. I absolutely laugh when sometimes I get triple or quadruple booked at times. What is an excellent multi-tasker to do? There is physically afterall only one of me and I can't be two places at the same time. Well with the phone I can.

Very much like that quote about land, that they ain't making any more of it, guess what?

         THEY AIN'T MAKING ANY MORE TIME.

That's why at some point in your life as you keep advancing in years you have got to realize how precious time is.

It always seems like time goes by faster as we get older.

One thought to slow it down or "get more of it" is to DO NOTHING. Sit on the porch and relax and get bored out of your mind. This is neither practical nor fun, but it will probably feel like you have more time.

A more real way to get more time back in your life is using generous amounts of this word:

Do not even flinch when you say the word. Figure out what you value and base your No's on that. For example in a span of two hours today I received five incoming sales pitches on products I did not want even though the salesperson thought I was a wonderful fit for them. Wonderful for him. No for me. Took care of that bit of time. Do not get yourself into a Yes / No quandary.

Indecision is a crippler.

For example, someone bugging me about a product I don't want? No. I'm waiting for a call from you and talking to others, but you mean a lot to me and the caller ID has your number presented, Yes, I take the call. People, do not make your yes and no's so difficult.

Saying lots of no's is like a sharp axe in the woods clearing out a bunch of thick trees. You soon will have an open area. It's called clarity. And by the way, it feels really good too. REALLY GOOD.

Which brings me to my final point. Life is not all about No's. It is about many yes'es. Do you love me? Can I have a piece of pie? Will you marry me? Can Johnny come over to sleep over tonight? Can Susie get signed up for the soccer game? Can we get a puppy?

Many, many joyful things in life to say Yes to. And please do. The key is to know what you want. Then the Yes'es and No's are a piece of pie cake.

Life is short...............    MAKE THE MOST OF IT. I'm with you for the ride!!

                 A HUNDRED YEARS

Having worked with elderly buyers it brought to mind that a study of 95 year olds were asked if they could live their life all over again what would they do differently?

The number one thing they said was that they would enjoy more "moments."

Are you seeing the "moments" in your life and stopping and enjoying them?

Even in the short while with social blogging like Active Rain I have seen many moments with friends I have encountered. Their family moments they have been kind enough to share with me, their humor, their tender touch, their teasing, their leaving behind inspirational messages for me.

In life, I have seen the effect of a cheerful word, a kind act, a helpful hand.

An embrace by someone who came out of the blue and gave me a bear hug or said an unexpected I love you, or a thank you.

The lessons from the retirement home are about the moments but also something else:

           the bellydancer

What I mean by this is our dreams. Say you wanted to take bellydancing classes. Well you only go round once in life. What is stopping you?

Banjo playing, marathon runner, Latin style dancer, xylophone musician?

I've started to think I could make it at a comedy improv club as a ventriloquist. I know, don't ask me if I am the ventriloquist or the dummy?

The point is aging gives us lessons about seizing the moment and to follow your dreams.

Any moments you had in the last month or two that stick out in your mind? Any dreams that you might be bold enough to go for in the next year or two?

Take heart if you haven't figured it all out yet. But don't wait till you are 95 to look back. Start now and just look forward.

With the new Batman movie upon us it made me think of this question,

ARE YOU A SUPER HERO TO THOSE WHO COUNT ON YOU?

For your real estate clients, family, friends, and acquaintances, do some soul searching on this one. If the Bat Signal comes out are you truly there for them? Service to the highest degree. You give your best. You are someone who keeps their word. You go the extra mile. You are a person of strength and conviction. You develop into a better Batman each day. You will not compromise your values.

If you really pay attention to the Batman story it is a different type of Super Hero. One who is human. No super powers like X-Ray vision. No being able to stop bullets with your chest. Batman can bleed and has to fight the forces of darkness. But he is the Caped Crusader. Always answering the call to service. Plus he gets to drive around in some pretty cool Batmobiles, chat with Alfred in the Bat cave, and flirt with Catwoman. All in all, a pretty stand up guy.

I hope you strive in your life to serve like the Batman. Or if this is not your cup a tea, find a Batman who will be there for you. There's only a handful of them out there. Holey Moley. Gotta go. I see the Bat Signal.

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."