Do you always put your best face forward with your real estate customers? They say you only have one chance to make a first impression.
I don't mean making faces. Although with some Realtors and Customer Service-related professions there are a handful of Sourpusses out there.
Back in the Stone age, there was a book written called I'M OK, You're OK. It talked about the four states that your self-esteem could be in, with the title of the book being the best state.
I'm OK, You're OK, is more than just pop psychology. Sure this is about attitude in putting your best foot and face forward to the world. But it is more about the internal dialogue in your head. When you have conversations with yourself and feel comfortable within your own skin, your inner peace radiates out to working well with others.
You can tolerate differences in people, and give a little to get along.
Develop a shining character inside that tells others it is safe to be around you. Develop excellent communication skills so you can handle a wide range of people. Just keep practicing at this.
Your best face forward will show that light within. It will be showing your best "spirit" to the world.
We all want to communicate better with our real estate clients and each other in life, right? Makes sense. There is one simple word to keep in mind in this department. But remember, first and foremost, we all are different, traveling down our unique paths in life with the people we've met, what we have experienced, our strengths and weaknesses, our personality, our likes and dislikes. We are UNIQUE, just like everyone else : ) So what is that one word that makes us the "Master Communicator?"
ACCEPTANCE.
Start with people where they are at. Put out those waves of "You are OK." Believe me, for some people, they are putting out the waves of "You are not OK" right off the bat. That is intimidating if not condescending. Have you ever been with someone that comes across with the "You are OK" from the start? Guess what? This is why you are comfortable with them. Internally, we all know we are slightly to greatly different than others. We want to be appreciated for who we are.
Hello over there. I am Mr. Knucklehead, Mr. Jock, Mr. Geek, Miss Beautiful and Sensitive, Mrs. Full of fun. I want you to know the REAL me!! Not some mask I am wearing.
It is so often true in marriages as they stall and don't develop, the spouses as far as communication intimacy goes, can tell more to their girl friends, close friends and co-workers about what they are afraid of, their dreams and aspirations, their feelings, than their spouses. Why is this? Because intimacy has been lost, and some message of "You're not ok" as you are, is being sent out. Intimacy that goes along with acceptance first of all requires commitment. That means time, effort, understanding, and letting go of the need to control and manipulate. Acceptance is vital to extraordinary communication. It is "unconditional" acceptance. It is what we all need to be properly nurtured and fulfilled. It brings to us a satisfying and honest relationship.
Be patient with others with your acceptance of them. They may not have developed as far along as you have "YET."
Acceptance in the end brings what we all want out of life: JOY !!!
After getting too much oxygen to the brain from excessive vigorous exercise today I finally figured it out. In social blogging, particularly real estate focused Active Rain, I couldn't figure out why I enjoyed reading the comments to blogs so much, both mine and others. It's because
THAT'S WHERE THE GOLD IS.
In sifting through many comments you will find pearls of wisdom.
NUGGETS OF GOLD!!!
For veterans, or newbies alike, keep reading those comments. Get lots of comments if you have to, one way or another. But there is some deep truisms, some profound wisdom there to be found from the "collective wisdom" of the readers that turn into commenters. Lots of great feedback. It is so cool about what blogging is all about. Unlike static literature that is in essence a proclamation, modern 21st century blogging is "conversational."
There's GOLD in that river. Just keep shaking that pan back and forth and you will find it.
One of my hobbies for quite some time has been running. I have been in the stealth mode lately which has been to set a goal of completing a half marathon. Stealth because if you tell too many people they keep asking you when you've completed the goal, and I want the pressure to come from me and not them. I love running though. I love that it is so freeing and challenging and you can keep rising to higher levels. In running there is something called
THE SECOND WIND EFFECT.
This takes place about the one half to two thirds mark where you suddenly feel stronger and really start cruising to the finish. You kick it in.
I've seen it in real estate where buyers drop out for awhile and come back rejuvenated and head to the finish line in a purchase. Sellers can back away too and come back with remodeling or Staging and finish strong.
In life, this second wind comes in the form of encouraging words. Who cannot use that in their lives? Some days we all just lose energy. We get the blues. We feel down. Don't think you are immune to this. Even with a tough internal constitution you get thrown off balance due to external circumstances, health problems, relationship problems. This is why I am always recommending you build a tight circle of encouragers around you who will not leave your side. They will be the safety net for you that will help you find your second wind.
Early on in my running days I didn't believe in this second wind idea. Why I go through life as a hard headed doubting Thomas all the time is beyond me? Seems like I have to validate everything. But running past the four mile mark early one day I sagged, then I surged. There it was, the second wind.
Like an oasis you have found in your life, stick close to those friends with the encouraging and uplifting words. They will give you that second wind every time you need it.
You are the pilot in the cockpit of your F22 Raptor here at mid year. Like New Year's resolutions it is time to turn your afterburners on and
KICK IT INTO HYPERSPEED
with your goals for the second half of this year. I'm not going to make your mission difficult and I know you can accomplish this.
Whether you are a Realtor, Stager, Appraiser, Inspector, Title Company, Feng Shui expert, Mortgage Professional or someone outside real estate, first, the Dr. Phil question:
How's it working for you? You've clicked off some time for the first six months with those goals and strategies. Are you on plan or flying in the wrong direction?
Second, be clear before we flip that switch and get the kick in the pants and feel the acceleration on our body in our jump suit, "what is your definition of success?" It may be different than the first half. You may be more realistic with your goals, you may have a sick mother to tend to. These are your goals. No one else gets to look at what's on your sheet of paper.
Try working on at least four areas before we flip the switch (one business, three personal):
Business - look at your marketing dollars ROI. What are you spending and what kind of results are you getting? Numbers don't lie. Make adjustments. Next, how is your cash flow going. Money in, money out. Don't make business harder than that. Adjust expenses if income is too low.
Personal - Physical. How is your health and exercise? Doctor / dental appointments in order? You know you lose muscle mass as you get older. What about weight lifting and walking with weights? How about your cardio? Are you getting your heart raised up with a doctor's guidance regularly? How about healthy eating habits? Any tweaking in order?
Personal - Relationships. Are you building a STRONG immune system with all the good friends and family you are building as a support structure? If not, get busy on that one at least by tomorrow. Express yourself. Don't hold back. Connect with others CONSTANTLY. You be the one to initiate the phone call, the email, to invite someone to lunch. Talk, and talk some more. No wallflowers allowed. You know, they might need YOU more than you thinking you needing them.
Personal - FUN. This people, is what life is all about. Life is good. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Find many happy moments throughout the day and week. Make other people laugh. Smile. They will wonder what you are up to. Tease. Touch. Hug. Find love. If you master this one alone out of the four you will get extra credit and a gold star from me.
Ok now, sit back tight in your cockpit chair. Tighten the seatbelt, Sun visor down over your face. Oxygen mask tightly on the mouth and nose. Thumbs up. Flip that cover switch on the afterburner engine button. Push the button......
W H O O S H !!!!!!!!!
Afterburner engaged. Good luck towards a great second half of this year, you TOP GUN !!!
Having had a refresher with my Fourth of July holiday my brain is back in overdrive from seeing, hearing, and reading about everyone's experience with a little time off. Time to relax, enjoy life, and just reflect for awhile. I don't know what it is about me, but my brain has gotten like a sponge lately in the observation department and I pick up all kinds of signals from what others feel. In our local community and the broad national community I saw lots of fun going on and I thoroughly enjoyed that people were living the good times if only briefly. But with my deeper self, I go into the core of their beings and while they may talk about a great sunny day in the sand at the ocean casting their fishing lines out to reel in some mullet, I am wondering what is going on here on a philosophical level? Call me the Socrates or Aristotle of the 21st century.
Which brings me to my thought along this line. Did you know the Pabst Brewing Company under the Old Milwaukee label came up with the phrase, "It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This"? Reflecting good times and the joys in life, I thought this was advertising genius. So,
WHAT DOES "IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS" MEAN TO YOU?
I saw a lot of it over this Independence Day holiday. Smiles by kids, friends together laughing, outdoor cook outs, oohs and ahs at fireworks displays, music (I love great lively music), tasty food. What about other areas of life?
Sometimes material things give us a little boost, like getting a tablet PC to organize your business. But the material things don't last like the people experiences.
Just the thought of home made ice cream and I know I am in nirvana. What about home made lemonade? I had one of those jewels the other day. You see, this place where it doesn't get any better, is really about "moments."The simple joys of life. I cannot tell you how many times I have lit up with an email from a friend who had a cheerful, encouraging word that made my day. Or to meet someone in person who you care about for the very first time. Wow, how sweet is that? How about births of newborns? Miracles there. Classic sporting events between rival schools. Someone offering you a cool drink on a hot day.
Let me know what you found in your travels that left you breathless and you KNEW it doesn't get at any better than this.I am highly curious to know what gets your groove on!!
Finally, two more things, a dialogue between the Devil and mankind in this area and a flick from Glen Campbell who tells us that our passion can be found also in our work and having a consistent loving relationship with those we care about in our lives. Sorry for so much info.This is what happens to my brain when I take a day off!! : )
The DEVIL AND MANKIND
In The Beginning, God created the Heavens
and the Earth. And the Earth was without form,
and void, And darkness was upon the face of
the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get
any better than this."
And so God created Man in His own image; male
and female He created them. And God looked upon
Man and Woman And saw that they were lean and
fit. And God populated the earth With broccoli
and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's
brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger.
And the Devil said to Man, "You want fries with
that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man
gained five pounds.
And so God created the healthful yogurt, that
Woman might keep her figure. But the Devil
brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained five
pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the
Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman
gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "Why doth thou eatest thus? I have
sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them." But the Devil brought
forth chicken fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.
And so God brought forth running shoes. And Man
resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil
brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man
would not have to toil to change channels between
ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And so God brought forth the potato, a vegetable
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat
fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil
saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and
created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil
canceled Man's health insurance.
So God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken
and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice. And
the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his
body, while feeling righteous because he had to drink
twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same
buzz. And Man gained another 10 pounds.
And Woman ventured forth Into the land of Godiva
chocolate, And upon returning asked Man, "Do I look
fat?" And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth."
And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of Man and dwelt
in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage
counselor. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any
As we pause on this 4th of July celebration I was reminded all that is right with our country. It seems lately with housing woes, skyrocketing gas prices, and more problems than you can shake a stick at, you have to keep your eyes wide open to catch a glimpse of the "other side" of the coin. The proverbial two sides to everything. I rolled out of bed early on an Independence Day to go see the Denton, TX County Courthouse Square annual 4th of July parade. This is unusual for me because I am usually a night owl and early mornings, particularly on days off do not usually see me rise and shine. I know that in addition to sporting events, airports, and shopping malls, parades are GREAT people watching places. It was a brief 45 minute journey filled with kids, balloons, old time cars, floats, cub scouts, and horses. Somehow the simple life of small town America reminded me that there is a lot going right with our country. It starts right out there in our communities and families. Happy 4th everyone. Hope yours is a beautiful one. God Bless America!
This time of year many of our clients in real estate are visiting the ocean and taking some time off for vacation.
In addition to showing me photographs of a trip, I like listening to the stories surrounding the sun, the sand, and the waves.
In particular what comes up is the breeze. Without trees and buildings to slow the wind down often there is a steady breeze at the ocean front. A word I have always liked in the breeze category is zephyr. It is a gentle breeze. Listening to the vacationers they seem to all pay attention to this zephyr and it makes them feel good.
So too in life, there are many zephyrs we can experience if we slow down and just feel them. They are the gentle spirits around us.They are the quiet moments. I have noticed so often that the quiet people, sometimes those off on the sidelines who are not boisterous, who are not waving their hands all around, who are not trying to draw attention to themselves, these people can be the most profound. They can be your greatest discovery.
Zephyrs just blow at a light level and never overpower you. They can almost be taken for granted. Gentle spirits need to be tuned into because they won't be as obvious as someone very loud in a room.
Like many of the great things we encounter in life we find them if we raise our level of awareness to them.
So keep your eyes open this summer for the gentle spirits that are always around you. Seek out the quiet moments that are telling you something and revealing a little piece of the glory of life.
The gentle sea breeze is blowing on you Do you feel it?
Has your vacation time allowed you to think about your life and what is important to you?
I see this all the time with real estate buyers who try to buy more house than they can afford, think their credit is better than it is, with prep on a home for sale don't think they need staging, think deferred maintenance can slide, and want to ask too high a price to sell their home. They are
Living on the Banks of the Out of Sight Out of Mind River.
No this isn't a new river meandering its way through a park like, new home planned development. It is a river called
DENIAL, and not the one in Egypt.
Why do so many in real estate and life like to live up against this river? It's easy to tell you why? It's comfortable. It is too painful to think about reality. You hope things magically will get better on their own. You don't want to deal with confrontation. You just don't have the physical or mental energy to deal with it now.
Sometimes problems do go away on their own or living in fantasyland works for awhile. It could be a matter of timing before you deal with something. But the direct, reality based thinking for many issues in our life like - housing, loans, relationships, and finance, work out a lot smoother when we steer clear of denial. Denial is a defense mechanism and even is one of the stages of grief. Just recognize when you are in it and don't get stuck there.
Don't be like an ostrich with your head in the sand or used as a golf tee.
Think clearly. Take action. Move forward in your life.
And if the river DENIAL is where you want to wallow for awhile that is ok as well.
At least have fun with it. Patricia Kennedy, my fellow "irreverent blogger" who always tells my mischievous self to go for it, inspires me to add this despair version of one of those inspirational posters. Always have fun with life wherever you find yourself!
