Have you ever been tormented by your pet peeves? I don't have too many and am very tolerant of many even with my chosen pet peeves. I'm naturally one of those "get along" types. But looking at myself I figured out why I still have my pet peeves. It is not really about my opinions, but it is because I care so very much about the people in my life. They may disagree with my thoughts but I have my reasons. I see these often in family, those I consider close friends, and clients. I say why I think these areas are problems.
Smoking - I have known smokers all my life and respect their right to smoke. The ones I care about most it is all about "HEALTH." I don't want them to die before their time. It may be selfish, but I want them around in my life. I won't let them smoke in my vehicle because I know it offends other nonsmokers. I sure wish they could slowly stop. I know nicotine is a powerful drug. I'll just keep supporting them trying to get them to stop.
Unclean language - So many take this one for granted. I think it is nothing more than something picked up from childhood, where now it is almost laughed at with pride that it can't be stopped. We are infiltrated with it on the cable networks and the movies. Everyone thinks it is funny and normal. I contend it is not. It first off reflects badly on one's language skills and secondly is offensive to many people. It sets a bad example for children and the worst is it is a sign of a heart that is not at peace. I cannot turn this one around in people, they just have to figure out to stop one day doing this. You must be a genuine self with all people and not talk one way at bars and another way at respectful, dignified dinners. A clean mouth reflects a clean, inner spirit that is at peace with oneself and the most happy. I am always FOR the side of a MOST HAPPY "HEART."
Tardiness - probably the pet peeve that I handle the best. I have friends and colleagues that are consistently late to EVERYTHING. It's almost in fashion to do so. This is a "HABIT" that wreaks of disrespect. I had a sales manager one time encourage me to be ten minutes "early" to every appointment just out of sheer respect. I have never forgotten that. The ones with the smiles on their faces coming to an appointment are the ones that are late. Everyone else is grimacing!
I'll still keep loving my friends each day as they are. Some days I think they were sent to me to be a thorn in my side or a pain in my @ss. See, now you've got me going : )
I'm far from any saint out there, but I think if we examine how each day of our lives we can improve, we actually might be getting better each day of our lives. When we were a child we acted like a child. But when we grew up, despite whatever our parents did to influence us, we have to become whom we were truly meant to be. I hope for all of us that means excellence in health, heart, and habit.
Hi Gary,
You hit the target!
We are designed to live freely and lightly with flexibility!
Happiness happens in the heart, health and habit when we do!
Gary - The Pet Peeve thing is one of the things that makes us all unique. Otherwise, we would all have the same habits, flaws, and attributes. How very boring we would be! Keep posting - you are fun to read!
We just have to learn to "let it go"! Great post
OK, Gary, I'm with you on smoking and tardiness. But I dunno about the cussing thing. Once in a while, I do let out with a 4-letter one. Oops. But not in front of clients.
Gary, I guess we all do have our pet peeves and I always hope my imperfections are not too annoying :) Tardiness? Never....I am so early to everything I get annoyed at myself--I was always taught it was very disrespectful (and it is).
Dan: Too much of all our imperfections come from some point of negativity. Your terms freely and lightly I think address that.
Joan: Yes it would be boring if we were all perfect.
Barbara: You can beat your head against the wall trying to get "others" to change, when you can only control yourself.
Patricia: Two out of three's not bad!! : ) Watch yourself with those clients.....
Carole: I see you were on the same page with me with the late arrival folks. What's the point of making an appointment if you don't get there? Some say Europeans are much more casual about being on time than Americans. Maybe it is a cultural thing with us.
Thanks Gary - I agree with your pet peeves altho I was stupid enough to have smoked many, mnay moons ago...I wonder today how I did it because the smell of it makes me sick. I also hate backbiting and gossiping.
Gary, right on! I take a little harder stance on the smoking because I feel their smoke overrides the rights of us clean-air people more than our clean air messes with them... The tardiness: I am working on doing better. Language, so true. I love that part of your post the most. You connected it to the heart thing. The Bible says.."Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Wow!
Nice post. Thanks!
Gary~ interesting post. I'm completely with you with the cigarettes, I despise everything about smoking. Regarding tardiness, my husband's side of the family takes being on time to the other extreme in that they are not happy unless they are a 1/2 hour to an hour early. They make me nuts! My goal is to be on time, not early and not late.
Lisa: I think if you are TOO EARLY then no one is ready for you and you surprise them. Probably with all pet peeves since we ALL are imperfect, a little tolerance is in order. But things can get so far from moderation at times, you pull your hair out.
Mary: I'm so glad you stopped smoking. Yayy! You'll be around a lot longer for me now : ) I think when people smoke for a long time they lose their sense of smell. Funny how it makes you sick now. Gossiping is definitely something to have a pet peeve about. It is too easy to get sucked into talking behind others backs.
Don: I knew you would have a verse for me on language. Thanks. I always feel in today's society I am the absolute lone voice in the wilderness crying out for clean speech. I think it has to do with a genie let out of the bottle and poorly used words, harsh and foul language, even being mean to others was accepted as ok. It has never been ok with me. I always want to choose my words very carefully. Anti-smoking can be very strong but I respect another's rights. But you are right their smoke can come over to our air where we breathe. I used to sit indoors in a four man cubicle with three smokers. I am lucky I survived!
I have pet peeves...I quit smoking over a year ago and the smell is horrendous. I can smell it everywhere... I am on time...if not always early and I always seem to be waiting for others. I have a bad mouth once in awhile...usually in the confines of home to explain what went on and make Gary suffer through all of it ...haha.
I have to be detailed...I have to be organized...I have to have a clean toilet and wipe my dogs face :)
Sally: We should turn this into a post about what everyone's pet peeves are. I know as far as keeping the house as clean as most women want it I fail miserably in that area. That's why we hire some cleaning folks to give us a boost from time to time. I love that one about wiping the dog's face! If you want a real laugh give your dog a little peanut butter. I'm cruel I know, but in a nice way : ) Why does the one with the foul mouth partner up with the clean mouth one? I think it is God's way of torturing us.
Regardless of how we were raised, we can always try to better ourselves but breaking habits can be tough! I love what you said about unclean language being a sign about one's heart not being at peace. Another great post Gary!
Patricia: It's just my observations about life. They say it can take 21 straight days to break a habit. It definitely is not easy on ANY habit we focus on.
Gary ~ I would have to say out of those you listed tardiness is a pet peeve I have. I am always on time; and usually early to where I have to be. I agree that it is disrespectful - almost like people thinking "so, I get there when I get there". Times are given for a reason, whether it's a party or an appointment.
Like Kathy above, the tardiness pet peeve gets me. I will be on time...actually 5 minutes early is late!
Gary--I think these are three qualities that many would agree with you on. Smoking can be controlled as I have had clients and friends who smoke but are so conscious of the fact that many people do not like it that I wasn't aware of their habit until months or years later. Swearing and tardiness can be controlled too...just a matter of caring about the other people in your midst.
Gary,
I agree with your pet peeves especially the tardiness. It drives me crazy for someone to tell me to a certain time for an event only to find they are late. Once is acceptable but not after that. Everything you named can be controlled. I dread to think what I do that might annoy someone. I am sure I have many flaws.
Gary,
Another great post! Seriously, doesn't it make you feel better to say a pain in my @ss than a thorn in my side!!! :^) Thanks, Fran
Teri: It is all about our choices and caring about others.
Becky: Oh we all have things that annoy others. It would be nice if we could fix ourselves, but it is a tough job.
Fran: You are right, it is more cathartic!
Kathy: We see tardiness in the same way. Others just don't for whatever reason.
Gary: You have high standards, good for you.
Hi Gary,
Well done, and you've picked three "biggies" for me too.
It seems like we've all become accustomed to profanity pollution, it's everywhere. I went to a r.e. blogging seminar last week-end in Phoenix and heard that from the speaker. It seemed to be accepted by most, but I can tell you personally, I was not impressed one bit.
As for being late, I read somewhere that those who are constantly late feel their time is more important to them that yours. Same thing when you said referring to disrespect.
Lynda: Ill chosen words just don't seem to bother some people. I think they have become tone deaf to it. My wife pokes fun at me with my "virgin" ears like I am a six year old. I just developed clean speech as part of good character. I don't want to sound like a prude, by why don't others see that as a good thing? The tardiness pet peeve also seems to come from people tuning out the effect of a behavior. If you don't see what you're doing you'll never change. I'm glad you saw some of this with your Phoenix seminar. You probably cringed. Some do not see with the same eyes you do.
Gary... are you talking about my language? Lol!
My biggest pet peeve is tardiness... I think it is extremely arrogant to assume that my time isn't as important as your time. If I am not 5 minutes early, I am stressed, feeling late.
Another pet peeve is when a person doesn't smile back at me. Now smiles are free. And I am a smiler. But occasionally, I'll smile at someone at they just look back at me. Would it kill them to force a smile? I know from experience that if I am down and someone smiles at me, when I smile back, I feel better.
Susan: Now would I pick on you of all people about language? Let me just say some days you inspire me ; )
I don't understand why some can't grasp the rudeness of tardiness. But it doesn't bother some.
A new one I've gotten bent out of shape with are clients and friends at lunch in restaurants where they are always answering their cell phones in front of me. Then, they keep on yakking like I'm not even there!
Your warm and friendly smile should elicit a positive response back but some people I think are too beaten down. Give it your best shot and you'll connect with more than you don't. At least you're one of the ones smiling out there, not like many others with the dour expressions on their faces.
Gary, I'm with you on cell phones when I am out to lunch. On Tuesdays, if we have time, we go to Realtor's open houses as a group in the office. One of us, talks on his cell phone in the car, usually the entire trip. Someone will be telling a funny story and we all have to be quiet while he takes a call. It drives me nuts. I always look at my caller ID when my phone rings. I always tell whomever I am with that I will only answer it if it is one of my kids. Period. If I am with friends and I am negotiating an agreement, I will excuse myself from the table, but lately.... well we won't go into lately! I think it makes my clients feel like I care when I tell them that I will not interrupt them for any other reason than to make sure my sons are okay.
Gary: I agree with youf take on all of these, even though I find myself guilty of the language. It is a very difficult one to turn around in today's society. Luckily, my "bad" language and business rarely meet.
Susan: You have a very good policy on cell phone usage in groups. I have even told close friends to put it on silent or vibrate for awhile. Life will still go on. It doesn't change them. I think they think they are too important. I agree by holding all but the urgent calls, people KNOW you care. I very much admire people who care.
Chris Ann: The language thing is something like a tidal wave over me. I know we adults are entitled to our salty talk. But it is such a genie out of the bottle thing where you have probably been places and it gets excessive for no reason other than habit. People have actually commented to me that they never hear me cuss. I know they all think I am weird!
Gary - my pet peeves - people with attitudes (who peed in your coffee?) and those who are overly opinionated. Like I tell my son, I'm not interested in joining a debate team!
Carol: Pleasant you with pet peeves? Hard to believe. Overly opinionated people can easily get on anyone's nerves.
Gary - I learn something new about you with each of your posts. I share your dislike of smoking, but am a little more relaxed on the other two. I do make a point of being on time, but am not 5 minutes early and I don't mind the occasional salty talk. However, I agree that extensive profanity is a sign of language laziness and there are certain words that I just can't tolerate.
Lynn: I think we all have our own set of tolerances with our pet peeves. We can't impose our own standards on others as we are all different and just human. I think I am highly tolerant of a lot of stuff people do around me, even smoking, and am far from perfect. I just keep trying to be the best I can be and leave it at that. With profanity, I'm not saying it is not part of our culture and language. I just think people thoughtlessly talk like that all the time without thinking. It is the lack of thinking and respect for others that bothers me. But everyone is not like me, so I just have to accept that. Words matter greatly to me. I think they are a reflection of what is inside.
Gary I use to smoke some years ago. But now I stopped. It is unbelievable what a difference. I can smell the smoke from distance, even outside. When someone steps in my car I already know if that person is a smoker... I am on the other side now.
As for the other pet peeves I keep them in short leash -:)
Arina: I am certainly not trying to make anyone feel guilty for habits, lest alone you. I'm glad you stopped smoking. Many still in my life that I love still haven't and it pains me because I know it is bad for their health. Beyond the habit I know nicotine is very addictive as a drug. Like you said as a non-smoker you can really smell the smoky after effects in houses and cars. Pet peeves are ok, you just have to be aware of what bugs you and we ourselves bug other people with our habits too. It just makes the world go around I guess.