If you live long enough you will find friends that you thought were your friends abandon you. In my discussions with Buyers and Sellers alike about their circle of "friends" they all agree with me on this that you need to
GET RID OF YOUR BAG HEAD FANS.
I once coached a corporate softball intramural team that lost our first nine games straight. We were in the wrong league by the way with superior competition. If anyone deserved bag head fans in the bleachers it was us. But our family and friends stuck behind the screen and cheered us on anyway. They still loved us. You'll be happy to know that our last game ten, almost like a Hoosiers episode, yours truly coach Gary coached our winless team to our sole victory over the eventual league champion. For one shining moment on one day we came together and were Champions!!
This idea of the false friends vs. the good friends and true friends you need to hone in on. Some of those silly and chummy buds of yours are NOT your friends. When ANY kind of adversity in your life or you becoming a "burden" to them shows up, or if they have to do any work for you, "poof" they are gone. Clues that you've found good ones - they return your phone calls and emails, they listen, they care, they appreciate your counsel of them, they drop their shields one shield at a time, they would hug you if they were in the same room with you, they go the extra mile, they defend you, they would go to war for you. I have met many of this great category here within the walls of Active Rain.
And the true friends, who you may only find and be able to count on one hand in your lifetime, they know you so well they would do anything for you. Loyalty to the max. Singing the song about you when you forget your own words. So identify and dump those baggy heads when you call them out. Who needs them? They'll just drain your energy long term. Find yourself some golden true friends too and as that Nigerian proverb says about true friends:
"Hang on to them with both hands."
I wish you well in knowing very well this area of your life. And BTW, in my book you can have multiple "BEST" friends, so don't let that hold you back either.
Gary: Friends come and go but, TRUE friends are the ones that remain and WILL do ANYTHING in the world for you and you're so right, HOLD ONTO THEM WITH BOTH HANDS!
"Singing the song about you when you forget your own words."
Perfect, Gary.
Gary: You are sooo right! True friends stick by you through thick and thin. Which reminds me, I need to call a friend of mine tomorrow who needs me.
So true! Good friends are rare, hole on tight.
Gary , Great post. I will bookmark this. I agree good friends are hard to find.
Gary, your true friends you can count on your hand. Lots of associates but only a few real friends who stick closer than a brother. I think Jesus had 12, then 3 and then 1, John.
Gary,
I had to check out this post. The title had me scratch my head, as I envisioned a motorized ceiling fan. I love your articles!
Sandy
Gary....
A true friend is one that you know would bail you out of jail at 2 A.M.
Gary, true friends - especially the ones that have the guts to stand by us in difficult times, are very special. I'm glad that we now have email, the internet and cell phones to keep in touch with those that don't live near us.
You right. I think true friends are a dime a dozen. Of course, there are the fly by night friends but the true friends...I can count all of my real friends on one hand. I'd rather have one good friend than just a million aquaintances.
Gary, I have some true blue friends and when I was going through the ordeal with Maggie they were with me. I have some other friends who told me later that they had heard and didn't want to come over because they knew I was upset. A friend comes over because he/she knows you are upset. Anybody can be a friend when you are laughing.
I'm writing "good post" with a bag on my head now, Gary. Of course, it's more of a fetish thing than an indictment.
Debe: It's great when you can identify the true friends. They are cut from a different cloth.
Elaine: They do that singing because they know you so well and have a vested interest in YOU and your happiness. It's so cool!!
Jan: Good for you on being the true friend to someone else. Bravo!
Ray: They say true friends are more precious than gold.
Gita: Good friends are hard to find, but a good start for all of us is for ourselves to be a friend to someone else.
Missy: I love the scriptural reference. John was so different from the rest, even reading his writings. The loved disciple. It is an amazing story.
Sandy: That is so funny, a motorized ceiling fan. Do you think I have Staging or decorating skills now? Definitely not me. I go to the real professionals on Active Rain for areas that I don't know. Well at least a wacky title got you here, which I am glad.
Richard: I may be in trouble. I think too many of my friends call it a night at 11 p.m. Darn old farts! Maybe Leesa in Wake Forest is still up. Or I'll cycle around and call West Coast buds.
Howdy Sondra: I'm only a call or email away anytime. Feel free to bug me. Remember, I never sleep ; )
Lindsay: One solid great friend outweighs all those acquaintances by far. You just have to recognize them when you know you found them, and also you be that person to someone else too.
Hi Susan: You of all people know what I am talking about with the true friends and what you went through recently. Ed, Leann, Liz and Larry were there for you. Getting back to your bud Oprah there she has a great quote in this area, "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you if your limo broke down." Hopefully, Susan you have identified those special ones in your life. It warms your heart to know you have that safety net out there.
Paul: Of course, there are exceptions for those with fetishes. You gotta be you man!!
SECRET LIFE OF PAUL SLAYBAUGH
Gary, Wonderful picture to go with the post and it's very true, I have learned some tough lessons about true friends in life. I would just automatically assume people were real friends when they weren't. It's not good to be that trusting I guess, I've been told people should EARN your friendship.
Carole: Make 'em work, put them through the test. See Carole if I were to test you and say Carole can be my friend, but she better visit my blog regularly, guess what? You'd get a BLUE RIBBON. Making them earn it does prove to you that during hardship, they are still there. When I found false friends later in life, it was a real eye opener. I felt not only let down but for me naive!
HI GARY!
I consider you my friend. You're such an inspirational person. I feel like I know you!! Thanks for sharing!
Have a great week!
Gary~The real way to find out who your real friends are is to move! Who ever comes to help you clean and move are the real deal.....I call them my flat tire friends. Who would come and rescue me if I got a flat tire and I didn't want to mess up my manicure.
Gary,
The one thing that I have found is that "TRUE FRIENDS" are not only those that will tell you things that you like to hear but, will always tell you what you need to hear at the time you need to hear it. The other thing a best friend is they are the shield that you need when you have dropped yours.
Don R.
Great post Gary
Good friends are there through thick and thin and will support you all of the way. They also give you their sound opinion of what they truly think .
Gary, Like the post. I have always been very careful in the use of the word "friend" to describe a relationship. In most cases, it shoudl reserved for the person who will be with you in really tough times. Otherwise everyone else, is nothing more than various degrees of acquiantance; good, regular and brief. I have always said, if we get through life with a handful of friends, then we truly are blessed.
Thanks
Bo
Oops!
That was me above
Thanks Bo
This is getting a little frustrating!
Bo again!
True friends know everything about you, and like you anyway. :)
Gary,
You are so right. True friends are difficult to find. A friend of mine says you can count your true friends on one hand. At first I thought he was being cynical then the more I thought about it I knew he was right. These are the friends who are always there. They don't question you but they are very honest with you. I'm fortunate to have many close acquaintances and some very true friends. I treasure my friends.
If you ask me, I would rather have a handful of friends I can always count on than a bunch of friends that are baggy heads! You really know who your true friends are when they stick by your side during the different seasons of life.
Gary, friends are kind of like a good dog when you kick them they still come home:)