Gary Woltal's Blog

Gary, I try to be as "real" as possible with everyone I meet, but sometimes I must put on the mask of the professional and take charge of the situation. Nice concept for a post.

Gary, another great post on your part! I think our spouses get to enjoy the true mask, but mine don't change much but we all have the hidden mask some where in our trunk of junk.

Gary, with or without masks most people are multi-layered - somewhat like the onion that you describe. I love hearing the stories of spouses that say they learn new things about their mates all the time - even though they've been married decades. You may be right, it takes gentle probing to allow someone the freedom to share their innermost thoughts and fears without fear of being judged. To me that sharing is what true friendships are all about.

Gary- Received my REALTOR magazine, today.  The subtitle to the front page story reads: "Media training and acting techniques will give you an edge in the field."

Interesting - We blog so that clients can get to know us, then we put on a mask, to do business with them.

What was wrong with the old technique - Be Knowledgable, Be Honest and Be Yourself.

Richard: We are who we are based on the situation, but it would be nice for someone to know the real you.

Duane: I have seen some with a "wide" range of masks and some with just a few.

Sondra: Very good points. A good friend builds trust and the sharing just flows naturally in a give and take fashion. This might be your big strength in life Sondra.

Marilyn: That's funny how that is. We be real and then put on the mask. I am with you that we need to be knowledgeable, honest and yourself.

Gary, I have to say I don't wear masks, it's too draining. I am what I am and act like it---thankfully most people like the real me :) And I could have listened to that song another 10 times....an old time gem. Thanks for a great post.

Gary, I don't think it is possible to ever completely loose are "maskophrehic" tendencies, but we can learn to laugh at them all---and appreciate the laughs of others.

Aw shucks. I've raised 5 children. I can see through a "pretender" in a nanosecond. As for me, what you see or hear or read is what you get. It's that way with most folks.

For some reason the older you get the fewer masks you wear.

I like to think I'm the same pleasant old fart all day every day.  haha  I'm a pretty much what you see if what you get kind of guy.  Then again, if a mask would make me look any better I might just sign up.

Gary:  This is an interesting thought.  I know personally, no one but my Mom and husband understand the innermost ME.  But then again, they are the only ones to see that far inside. 

Gary, this is a great question... How many will step out and admit how many layers their mask have?... My mask? I need a makeover!!!

Gary - I won't deny I wear a mask on occasion. I need to examine if I still need to do so. Great post.

Gary,  Nice post as usual.  Getting to know people to the point of them taking of their mask and you yours is when things really get interesting.  Mike

Gary, very deep post. I have been trying to figure out what my deep mask is all about. I think I'm still just trying to figure out me and what makes me tick.

Gary,

Back in the day as a licensed minister in Chattanooga I did a sermon on masks that we wear.  Your points were right on my friend.

Thanks

Carole: Always be YOU Carole, that's fine.

Charles: I think the masks go with the situation, but hopefully most of them are laughing masks.

Lenn: I think it's great you can detect the pretender, and that you are who you are, no bones about it.

Shirley: That is a great observation that the masks fall away with time. Maybe too much energy. A brilliant point.

Jesse: You are a real McCoy. I like that in a person. No need for a mask. You're doing fine with that original mug of yours.

Chris Ann: See, there is that inner core of you, that only a privileged few get to.

Arina: You sweet friend are so sweet. You can't have many masks before you hit that pure heart of yours. A makeover for BEAUTY QUEEN like you? Not needed!!

Tom: It was said here as we get older we have less masks.

Mike: That is a great point. Dropping the masks is where it really starts getting to be a story.

Michelle: Understanding ourself, you are right, is the hardest part. Then what do we present to others from that point on?

Don: You should do a post on what you learned and presented. I didn't know you had licensed minister background. We have all kinds of talent here in the Rain.

Gary, I'm afraid of clowns...really. I have been since I was little. Maybe because they could be anyone behind the costume? I don't know.

Later in the rain~Deb

Deb: I have heard the same thing about the fear of clowns. Maybe it is the one with the frowny faces. Don't sweat it, you're not a little kid anymore.

Yes, people are very complicated, and the masks are almost always a defense mechanism to protect us from perceived hurt.

Ahh yes, masks,transparency, being real......all prevalent themes this week.......i was writing one along those lines myself...............I can't say I every particularly liked clowns (reading Debs comments)either.................their eyes seldom seem to smile

Pam: Even though most probably don't admit they have masks it is a psychological safety net for us keeping that pain at a distance.

Liz: Good point on the clown eyes. They can have painted on smiles but the emotional side of the eyes always seems to reflect inner sadness. Maybe that's why they can be scarey.

Hi Gary,  What a wonderful Post!  We experience authentic healing when trust injuries are repaired.  The health of any person is measured by how much love that person can give and receive.  Masks cover shame and pain.  As trust and love increase and shame begins to be replaced by grace, the masks begin to feel uncomfortable.  Transparency feels more comfortable.  Hence, the need for masks gradually disappears.

Gary - Funny, I don't think I really wear alot of masks. What you see is what you get, and I don't hold back. I might add that there IS a proffesional me and there is the inner ME who only my friends and family see. Sometimes, through business people become my friends and get to know the inner ME - eventually. And sometimes, my friends and family will enlist me as a proffesional and get to see the other side of me too. I might play many roles but I wear few masks - although I will admit that  sometimes inner ME wants to shout out when the professional ME is trying to play her part and the patience of a saint is wearing thin!   

Dan: Trust and love can reduce the masks I agree. A good point was made whether it be from more trust and love or less energy that as we get older there are less masks. I think we just get comfortable in our own skin.

Carol: I like that you have two masks Professional and the Inner You. That's very good.

Gary,

Clowns have always freaked me out.  Remember Stephen King's "It"?

I have worn so many masks in my life, that it was extremely exhausting. 

As a child, I masked my anger at my parent's divorce, and the embarassment of going on public assistance.

As an adult, my 15 year mask hid the pain & shame of living with an active alcoholic.

It has taken a long time for me to remove the masks I have been wearing and to say "hello" to the real me underneath.  Trust plays a big part in this process.

Now, what you see is what you get.  No masks.  Have a great weekend.

Harold: Thanks for sharing that story of your journey. You have hit on a great life lesson and that is that trust is a big part of removing the masks. Isn't it great to be comfortable in your own skin at some point in your life? Like you said, what you see is what you get. Very good. Have a great weekend too.

Gary, I love that song, thanks for sharing, I try to be me. At my age why fake it, high school is over. I see a big change in my kids when they hit their Sr year, no more hours looking perfect.

Missy: We at some point need to be ourselves. It takes too much energy to keep wearing the masks.

Hello coach #(oops I forgot the number since I have so many)Remember, I make up my own rules. So that double standard doesn't work in my world. You have your groupies I have mine and I don't intend to hide under the desk when all my admirers come a courting. You just pretend you don't like it, but I know you eat it with a spoon and love every minute of it. You aren't fooling me rascal. I got you pegged.  

Just so you know If I'm going to have a dance partner I want to be the one wearing the dress and NO! I do NOT forget a thing and NEVER will. Just think "specatacular" 

Education I'm doing. That is for me to know and you to wonder about. LOL  Now the pics below I think are your best masks and and far as YOU-Tubes. That is your job to bring one to me and then maybe I'll think about dancing with you again.

If you build up some trust and respect between the two of you, the sharing will flow (on both sides (I think we got that covered)

Pat, you are a hoot. No doubt about it, And you wonder why I miss you? I do, you know. ALWAYS the mystery woman. Personally, I think we both have control issues. I keep guessing about you getting more educated, but you won't tell me in what! Oh well, I am at peace with that. Darth Vader and his Wizard friend look like they are going to go toe to toe. I sure hope I can build up plenty of GOOD memories with you Pat over time. If bad ones sink in there from me, Lord help me with that memory of yours. But I still love you. I'll try to find you a YouTube. And if I am in a long line of Coaches at least I could claim at least at one time of being #1.

Hi coach-You got hoards of YOU-TUBES I left you. If you want to be my #1 coach that should be real easy for you. I'm like you coach I'm a lifelong learner. I grew on you didn't I coach. I'll bring your words back to you. You told me to do what I'm doing. Spreading the love around. Now you want me all to yourself again. Sorry to tell you this but this is TOO much fun, so see next time you should be careful what you tell me to do. I only listen to you when I want. I wear the pants in this relationship but I still look better in a dress than you EVER will. I have smooth sexy legs that beat them hairy legs anyday and they are shapely too. Can't say that about yours. LOL

Pat: Lesson learned. Be careful what you wish for. Yes, I know you look better in a dress than I. And of course you are the Queen of YouTubes so no competition there. I am glad you are a lifelong learner, but Lord help me if you do get even still smarter. I'll be three steps behind you then. I could easily write a post about the unique Pat tricks I've encountered like pre-emptive comments and circle backs in TIME to year old posts. No one is at that advanced stage but you. Gotta run, time to find a YouTube.

Hey coach-You best not be doing a blog about my history emptives. That is for us. I get smarter each day coach. I found you didn't I? Lucky for you, after all you almost wanted to get rid of me at one time. Now you're glad you didn't aren't you?

Pat: Forgive me if I ever gave you the impression I wanted to get rid of you. NOT TRUE. You being different than anyone I ever met here, TRUE : ) But you're a sweetie, and you grew on me. Yes, all your tricks are top secret with me. I would never embarass you Pat. I care about you WAY too much,,,  xxoo

Hi coach-That is nice to know and I listened to your YOU-Tube. Don't get upset if I delete it off there. Got my reasons. Bring them to the later posts if you would. It was very good. Thank you. :-) Just so you know I kept it. Just took it off there.