One of my keys to serenity in my world is recognizing when to let go of things. I believe in being ok with things that have gone haywire for whatever reason. Take the Realtor-Client relationship. Clients screen Realtors but you know Realtors and Stagers for example should screen ALSO their clients.
ALL MATCHES ARE NOT MADE IN HEAVEN.
There are ideal, optimum, and way off the mark matches for you and us all. A geographically distant, across the city client is not a match. An unfamiliar area or specialty product like farm and ranch, luxury, or short sale that you are clueless about is not a match.
Most importantly, let's talk chemistry. Say you have a relo buyer who is highly demanding. A seller who calls you up five times a day wondering why the house hasn't sold yet. Life is too short to be paired up with these people. Refer them to your favorite enemies.
What about your marriage or love life? You're kind of on your own working that pairing out like going through life with the adventurer and the stick in the mud conservative. You get the picture.
The point is, it is ok to be not ok with the pairings. Keep matching yourself up with what works best for you and you'll live your life with a whole lot more winning combinations.
So, are you good at steering yourself away from the mismatches? Or do you take them all on in a martyr like sense? I'm just wondering where you are on the learning curve.
Well, I guess one thing that comes with age is learning some great lessons -- I have learned not to take everyone who calls. I just turned down 2potential clients who wanted the world, but didn't want to pay a very reasonable fee. One had a bad experience and has called back -- the other has not and I am very comfortable with that. Great message and it is good to move on when things don't align themselves.
Gary.. I strongly believe in the Realtor interviewing client. Yes, as a realtor I work on commission, like we all do, but why would I want to take on a client that wants to look in 6 different towns, and has no idea what kind of home they are looking for, or better still, what they qualify for in terms of a mortgage.
Gary ~ I have, in the past three years of running my business, declined to work with three (interior decorating) clients, two were very demanding and looking for more of my time than they were willing to pay for, and the third I just knew after the consultation wasn't going to work out when she would say, "I thought you said . . .", when I never said anything close to what she was saying. That one was a problem waiting to happen. While I may have lost out on jobs, I think that the potential headaches would have been worse.
Gary,
Excellent point...life is definitely too short to be matched with people who drain your energy away, both in your business and personal lives.
When I was new in the business I would work with many folks who were not well matched with me...after a few years I learned to not work with those people and to only work with those who were a good match for me and I for them. It makes life and work so much more enjoyable!
Good post....thanks for pointing this out.
Jo
As Dr. Phil recently said, "Don't let anyone take away your POWER." I've made my share of mistaken pairings but am being more selective now. Nothing is worth giving up what we work and live so hard to attain. Thanks Gary!
Gary - Love the pic, I'm a huge Woody Allen mark. I have become better at it, but still need to brush up on becoming better at knowing when to say, "I think I need to move on." The fact is you can't be all things to all things. That's just the way it is, I too often stubbornly fight that truth.
Hi Gary, re "Life is too short to be paired up with these people. Refer them to your favorite enemies"...
I love that attitude/strategy. A nice way to "give payback" and lose stress at the same time. ;-)
I have learned when I listen to my gut it is usually 'right on'. However, challenges can be fun!
Awesome blog! I mistakenly took on a client recently whom I had a bad feeling about; long story short - the commission isn't going to be worth the trouble. And if I ever find out who gave the vendor my home phone number...
This is sooo true. I have also turned down clients because the "chemistry" wasn't right, only to have them come running after me later! I have found most times that these folks have unrealistic expectations and I happen to be very realistic and honest with my clients. Sometimes it's what they want to hear, and sometimes it is NOT. Great blog!
Very true. You need to know when you just aren't right for the client. Much better to take a referral and get them matched with someone who does the job better than to lose out.
One feels it in their gut - will this be a positive situation or a negative one...listen to your emotions - they will steer you in the right direction (usually!)
That's my job. I screen everyone who calls before I send them to an agent.
For the ones that I work with, if they aren't serious, ready and qualified, they are history.
We are, after all, in business.
Does this work with wine too? I'm finding that it is much easier to let clients go where I find we aren't a good match. Early in my career I was more a grin and bear it Realtor but now I realize that I can't be everything to everyone and that is okay.
Gary - I'm beyond the learning curve - I'm on the fast track...I stopped trying to figure people out years ago. I am an easy enough person to connect with, so if connecting with certain people has to be a difficult task then I'm better off moving on.
Gary - I use to take them all, I'm beginning to learn that sometimes it's better to let things go. You can be with two or three good matches instead of one not so great (because of the time involvement).
Gary...
You are so right. I just spent two days with a client and I thought things were going great but apparently something was lacking, as she moved on. And so will I!
I agree with what you are saying.
BUT
Is it not true that opposites attract?
Gary, You are awfully wise for your young years. All of us have experienced "toxic" clients and hopefully we have learned from them. I choose to work only with people that I like and respect. Thanks for another well written post.
HI Gary,
I have had the good fortune to have mostly good pairings.
Learned the hard way when I started a construction company 13 years ago not to take on each client.
My mum and dad had a siding and window business in the 70's. Mum would add on $ 500 aggravation pay to the invoice for the clients that seemed a little more demanding. That was a lot money back then so if they agreed she knew from the get go that they couldn't get anyone else to dowhatever they were being unreasonable about.
She said the money always covered what they demanded so she always smiled when she cashed the cheque.
Now I just say that I am booked solid for the next 3 weeks. That is the most polite way I can think of to get them to hire someone else. In my industry most people want it done in a week or two max so three weeks is the magic number to let them down easy and get them to mosey along to another Stager.
I am excellent about steering mis-matches away from me. Ill mannered, disrespectful and inconsiderate people are simply not allowed in.
Gary, where DO you come up with all of your great blog ideas? I loved this one!
I will indeed walk away or refer someone out if they are not a good match. I haven't done it YET but there were a few folks I didn't follow up with because of the same issue. Anyway, I can put up with lots of personality types, which is a plus. Especially when I know there is an END in sight!
BethAnn in Spokane
Gary....Check out THOSE BOOTS!!!! Oh, yes....the post is awesome...but I've come to expect nothing less from your great thoughts!
Gary LOVE the picture and LOVE the analogy!! Great Post!
Hi Gary, Over the years 20 or so, I think I have not been suited maybe 3 or 4 times. Most of my business is past client and referral so that lessons the risk but when it it doesn't feel right, I give and take a pass.
Joan: We can work hard but it has to be win/win and this is business besides helping people.
Valerie: If they don't meet you half way, you have to step back from them and say you can't help them.
Kathy: By weeding through the ones and stopping it before the relationship got started you were way ahead of the game.
Jo: There's many fish in the ocean. Seek out your ideal customer and relationships.
Ginger: I think all these mistakes early on add to our "experience" and then we FINALLY figure it out. We DON'T have to work with everyone.
Jason: The mark of getting more successful is to make those "correct" decisions faster and don't be the martyr. It comes with time, or now that I've reminded you about it, you've got it.
Marti: I'm glad you liked the payback and lose stress combo play!!
Hi Mel: Good point that challenges CAN be fun. They also CANNOT be fun.
Scott: We all get some tough ones dealt to us and you just want to trade them in for someone else.
Katrina: Realistic paired with unrealistic. A classic matchup that is oh so not going to be fun to work with.
Kim: It is your time and your enjoyment. If you can refer them it should be a win win for everyone.
Joan: I agree that listening to the emotions (mostly) will tell you what to do.
Lenn: Serious, ready, and qualified. Very good criteria Lenn.
Cindy: Be yourself, and you will attract your perfect clients.
Carol: That's my approach. If they can't see how professional and wonderful you are, they need to find someone else.
Linda: You have it figured out well.
Richard: Better it breaks off early, in anything if it is not working out.
Aventura/ Bal Harbor: They say opposites attract true. But in the long run for something to work similarities endure.
Margaret: I have heard that term "toxic" and it is true for both relationships AND clients. Respect should always be a two way street.
Michelle: I like the "cantankerous" tax or your plan to put them out three weeks. Great ideas.
Hi Donna: I very much like your FIRM stand.
BethAnn: My ideas come from this overactive brain of mine. Most people we can work with. But then again, there are some... : )
Thom and Ray: I thought this picture fit this topic well. The boots are amazing!!
Justin: Thanks for your thoughts.
William: It is more rare the mismatch, but we have to be aware of it when we see or feel it.
Life is too short to be paired up with these people. Refer them to your favorite enemies.
I am in the process of doing this very thing right now. I abhore working with people that don't get me. It's not worth it.
GARY
Very Well said. I agree completely.
I really enjoyed reading your point of view. After several years I finally stopped taking on every customer I met and I have actually had the courage to let a couple go because it was just not worth it!
Gary - This is so true; if you are working with a client and the chemistry is not right you will both be miserable. I prefer to pass them on to someone else or I have found it necessary to terminate the relationship on occasion. Once someone called my office, he wanted to buy a house but right upfront he told me he would not work with a women, this person had a professional job and offered services to the public. After getting over the initial shock of the statement, I realized he was doing me a favor, I sure wouldn't want to spend a moment with such an individual.
Gary if I'm not good at anything else I am pretty good at seeing a train wreck when it is coming. Sizing up folks and determining who I can work with and who I can't is a skill that is acquired by many many train wrecks.
Nannette, I just sent you an email after finding out that you cover Danville, Va... where I am originally from. Small world.
Love Michelle's comment on the $500 aggravation surcharge - that is classic! Also like her comment about being booked for three months solid...
This makes a good point. Initially, when I got into the business, I wanted to be "all things to all people". I called on every agent I could find. (I am an L.O.) The reality of it is that low dollar commercial loans are not my specialty. Do I want to solicit business from agents who end up doing lots of sub prime type deals? Not really. I've done a bunch of quotes on manufactured houses but never closed one. I could learn more than the basics of construction loans but is it a good use of my time? Be good at what you do and be honest with everyone when they work with you. I quit calling on the over-aggressive agents.
Gary...I always tell my clents that the reason fo rthe time frame on contract is that incase they don't like me after the time is up they can go else where. BUT, I also tell them that it works the other way also, if I don't like their attitude, I can go away. Most get a checkle out of this comment. But, I am serious on my side!
Refer them to your favorite enemies...LOL! You are right, we don't have to work with clients who don't work well with us. Many agents put up with disrespectful or energy sucking clients because they really need the business...not a good idea.
Gary, I wholeheartedly agree with you about being discerning in both your Professional and in your private life. I do have a tendency to talk with a lot of foks, some who turned out to be a huge waste of time. And, in my private life, I kissed a lot of frogs. So glad I didn't settle though, and just got married two weeks ago to a real find. We really clicked when we met and that old "love at first sight" kicked in. We waited for two years before tying the knot but he was definitely worth waiting for. With age comes wisdom...peace
I have certain agents I refer clients to when it's obvious I am not a good match for them and vice versa. The I-know-everything-and-you-know-nothing control freaks, I send to an agent who is also a lawyer. That shuts them up. The-you-must-bow-down-to-me-and-worship-the-ground-I-walk-on, I send to a different agent who can play submissive because she likes to see her bank account grow. I don't play roles with my clients. I am direct. If they don't like my approach or they are a psycho (and I've had a few psychos), I send them to an agent who has the time and patience to deal with their quirks.
I have enough stress and life is too short to waste on people who don't appreciate your expertise.
Gary: You know, it is always best to surround yourself with positive people and clients are certainly no different. I can generally tell if a client/agent relationship will be a good fit but, sometimes I am blown away as we move through the 'relationship!' I always wind up with completing it but, learn another lesson in 'what-to-look-for' in a client! Great post, as always!
Gary how true is this. It's always a pleasure to read such words of wisdom.
Gary, you are bound to have 100% satisfied clients and I am sure that running your business probably seems like not having a job at all. You have no idea how many times I have seen and heard of this miss match situation. Agents not wanting to give up a client because they think they need the money and then they end up pulling their hair out. It's really a wonder that we don't see a lot of bald people! I'm sorry but I don't need that type of conflict going on. Great post Gary!
Oh man I needed to hear this! I fill in too many of the blanks with "hope" instead of "action plan". Hopefully I can make my learning curve a sharper turn--- I plan to, anyway...
Gary, one of my most demanding clients became one of my most loyal clients when I fired him. Interesting how life works.
Gary - I generally steer clear of mismatches whenever possible, although occasionally I want to prove that I can "make it work". :)
Wow, those are some boots!
I sometimes have a hard time saying no to demanding clients. I don't want to come off rude.
Life is too short to spend your time trying to make a square peg fit a round hole when someone else who is a square will speak their language. I too get past client and referral business and it's people like me who like how I work. Very rewarding.