Whether we are Realtors, Stagers, Loan Officers, Inspectors, Title Company Escrow Officers or others working in the housing industry I sometimes think that the work is mainly a vehicle just to interact with people in life. You could be shining shoes and it would be the same thing.
Namely we are in many instances Putting People Back Together One Piece At A Time.
What I mean by that is that under the surface many people have broken lives of one sort or another. We may be this way ourselves. Pain, grief, divorce, stress, significant problems of health, finance or relationship. We all are human. But as we interact with our clients they become real. They are not ONLY there to find that house. True, we are not marriage counselors or financial advisors, but we are this - LISTENERS.
Every one has a story to tell, whether they be young and energetic or in the twilight of their years. There are always stories of pain if you hang around long enough. Life has its natural share of bumps and bruises.
By being a good listener, an interesting thing takes place. Healing. The broken pieces seem to come together better. What was the fractured becomes sewn back together. I have heard stories from buyers on the second trip looking at houses of three family members who drowned in a lake. And this from smiling faces in my vehicle. The pain was there. Talking about it completely helped.
If you are a Stager or Inspector and have these tangential conversations off business with clients, be patient with them and LISTEN. Respond with a few questions to probe a bit deeper and go back into a significant listener mode. Healing, trust me, takes place. Pieces go back together, one at a time.
It isn't that hard to be caring in the world. Some of it just takes slowing down, opening your eyes, keeping quiet and listening carefully with both ears. Look into another's eyes. Read in your mind what you see. Putting people back together is about love.
They will know with you that they have found a safe place to land.
Caring about people and their needs before yours will make you successful
Gary - I agree... great listeners are superb communicators... the can establish rapport and show that they care... is pure. Caring about another puts a lot of things in perspective too. Gratitude is a beautiful feeling.
I often find it difficult to slow down sometimes with all the hustle and bustle of everyday. This is something I need to work on. Thanks for posting.
Gary, I always ask the Realtors why the homeowner is selling before I do any consult work. I don't want to go in telling someone that just lost a spouse or job that they need to this, this and this before they sell. I once had a homeowner that lost a young child in her home and couldn't live there any longer. I needed to know this before going in.
I think we, who actually like people and that does not include all, we have seen this first hand and it has in many instances lead to building life time friendships. Very well said. Being a good listener is the greater aspect of any good conversation.
Good word. On a weekend retreat this weekend I realized how many people are hurting.
I always think that clients don't meet me by accident. There is a purpose to the meeting and it is not always real estate. We are to help each other in some way. It's not always revealed at the first contact.
Gary - A contact to sell or buy a house in many instances turned in great friendships, being patient and a good listener can endear you to yout clients.
This is a great post and so true. Usually the people we are working with are under a lot of stress, perhaps in a terrible personal situation and when we listen - really listen, we do more than just get the job done, but also treat them with the respect they deserve. So many of our clients have become friends - its a blessing of the business!
Lee- Wonderful post! We are in a great business that has a the unique potential to help people get their lives back on track, start over or take the first step towards a new, better life. We need to realize the wonderful position that puts us in! Thanks for the post!
Gary - What an awe-inspiring post. In the hustle and bustle of our all to often hectic schedules we really do need to take that little extras time to listen and show our compassion for others. It gives me such a wonderful feeling when I can go beyond being not just a real estate agent but a trusted and caring friend.
Hi Gary, great post and great reminder. Sometimes I have to force themselves to slow down and really listen. I was getting annoyed that my landscaper guy had dissed me now for two days, all he said was he had a appointment. I didn't feel it was my place to ask what it was about, but as he talked it came out he had been in a bad car accident awhile back and the visit or appointment was with the doctor to be released to go back to work.
Now if I hadn't taken a little bit of time listening (he speaks broken English), I may have just left him and found someone else who in my opinion was hungry for work. Needless to say he is more motivated than ever to get back to work and wanted to be physically able to do it.
I'm glad I took a few minutes to listen instead of just walking away. Most people usually have something going on or may be in the midst of a life's lesson. We can't help them all, but we can listen. That's why we have two ears and only one mouth.
Thanks again for the awesome reminder
Hi Gary! You're absolutely right about being a listener--the best part of being a listener is learning about others. So many would prefer to talk, talk, talk and they just don't know what they're missing!
Hi Russ: It all is about being the servant, or having a servant's heart.
Christopher and Stephanie: Listening shows caring.
Justin: Slowing down is the key to the beginning of listening.
Donna Schoby: What a great open ended question to delve into the why behind the selling.
William: Listening indeed does make you a great conversationalist.
Chuck: There is much hurting beneath the surface.
Lizette: I believe that not an accident happening too.
Jennifer: Patience is a key to with us slowing down to listen.
Eric: Now you take your talents and help people. That is great with your listening abilities.
Hi Pat: Awesome commenting with graphics. You are very impressive. Listening and being a friend to someone really means a lot. Don't wear yourself out with the blogging AND the outside stuff. Everything in balance Pat.
Margaret: A true blessing to call a client a friend.
Ilyce: The great helpers we are out there in society.
Donna Bigda: There is more to this than just houses for sure.
Robyn: Our prejudging people without listening gets us in the most trouble sometimes. I'm glad you took time to listen to the landscaper. What a terrific story.
Hi Debe: You are right. You learn the MOST when you are quiet.
Hey Gary,
You know it's another "one" mouth "two" ears reminder that we were created perfectly. THANKS!
AWWWW!! My sisters and her husbands wedding song!! Timely post for me as I am staging a home this week for a lovely couple who have medical problems and are moving to the East Coast near their son-leaving their home after 40 years. This is a stressful move and I am working with electric scooters, medical equipment-etc and such loving people....that need respect, TIME, understanding and friendship!
Lynda: Great view on the perfection of creation.
Cathy: Your story is the perfect example for the loving listening and friendship you have fostered with these folks.
I do a piece for Realtors about how many hats do they wear. It is a good talk and really just emphasizes the many qualities, depth and skill level needed to do our work, a good job at it anyway and of course, therapist, counsellor and confidante are right up there on the list. People just want to deal with real people who sincerely put their interests first. And, if we do our job well, and do that from the heart, they are loyal beyond measure and will refer their friends and family for that caring and comforting experience. It is always stressful to purchase or sell a home, and even when good stress, can test the metal of anyone. It pays for us to remember we can be the leveling and balancing and compassionate guide for their journey. It is our duty to treat them with human kindness, provide our skill and competence and give of ourselves.
How come I tend to listen more to hunky guys in tight blue jeans and cowboy boots?? (Just kidding... I am way too irreverent.)
Gary - I took a speech class once and the first thing we were told at that time that "Listening" is the key ingredient in any job. Some real estate agents forget that.
Gary, This is really a beautiful post. I'm so glad that I read it. I couldn't agree with you more about how important it is to take the time to listen to people. It is so easy, in our busy lives and careers, to be distracted - thinking about what else needs to be done today - and we miss opportunities to be that listener that someone needs. Thanks for posting.
Gary - Here you go again, writing a post chalk full of psychology and inspirataion. Depending upon your speaking skills, you'd make one heck on a Motivational Speaker... or at least writer. You may want to contact Mr. Anthony Robbins. This sums up a large part of what we do quite nicely.
Some days I'm not sure if I am a Realtor or a therapist, but since I have always thought either one would be a good thing for me to do, now I get the best of both worlds.
Hi Arina: Great quote, and listening, really listening, has to be one of the highest forms of respect to another. They will just gravitate toward you when you are a great listener.
Terrylynn: Skill PLUS our compassion is definitely where it is at and that makes us EXCELLENT in this field.
Hi Susie: I like your irreverence. Now I know your taste in men : ) You have to first grab the audience's attention you know.
Petra: Half if not over half of a conversation is listening. Yet people think conversation is talking.
Chris Ann: Completely true. They come back to us because we "care."
Vicki: A lot of not being distracted is slowing down.
Hi Jason: Writing and speaking are just some hats I wear. I am just not one to be pinned down to one thing. It is just who I am, but thanks for the compliment.
Hi J L: You too, where many hats.
Gary - you are so right - under every exterior is some pain. And I think it shows a lot of those people are willing to open up and confide in you. I have had people share their lives with me as well, and it definitely helps you to connect with each other.
Gary...as we go through this coming year I think we will need to be reminded of this frequently! Beautiful post!
I remember when I first started my interior design business, I learned right away that I was in people's homes for more than just decorating them. In such a short time, they were sharing their pain with me...and somehow just being able to share helped them. I think that is when I first understood that ministry has nothing to do with church or being a pastor...that each one of us is called to 'minister' to those around us. GBU, Gary!
Gary-This is a powerful post. I have a friend that if you look at her or be around her, you would think she had no problems or worries. She always carries a smile for everyone. But I know different. She is one strong lady and has been through so much in her life. She covers her pain with a smile and laughter. She is an inspiration to all who meet her.
I try to remember when talking with people that you don't know what they have been through or what they are going through. Just like they don't know what I am going through.
Thank you again for another great post. You are an INSPIRATION TO OTHERS YOURSELF.
hey Gary, some remarkable points and posting here! I used to talk to my kids about being a best friend to everyone, rather than thinking you just had one... we do need to be so aware of the opportunity each moment, that we have to BE a friend... Thank you for your deep strentgh and inspiration that you share.
Gary,
Listening does have enormous healing powers in it....often someone feels so much better just by sharing the load that is on their mind. We are very fortunate if we have friends that we are able to share with in this way and our clients learn to trust us due to our listening skills.
thank you for spreading your words of wisdom once more...
Jo