I get to play teacher today. One gift I absolutely have been blessed with is seeing what others don't see. I call it a cross-wired brain. Today's lesson
SEEING THE INVISIBLE MAN.
It is the ability to see past the surface of people. Seeing their potential.
The old TV show had the Invisible Man taking off his wrappings and then there was nothing there. Yet he was really there and could be a force in the world, lifting objects, having others feel him. But on the surface you couldn't see that part. It is a mistake to not understand the invisible. Very shallow thinking.
Since I can see the "invisible" readily here are some tips for you to raise your awareness of your vision.
1) Listen between the words to the tone of what people say. Is it positive or negative? What is their mood?
2) Also with regard to words written or spoken, listen to what is NOT being said.
3) Pay attention to all non verbal body language. Folded arms mean a closed stance. Fidgeting means nervousness. A warm smile means friendly. A sincere non-penetrating eye contact means engagement and paying attention to you.
4) Look at the shoes. Look at the grooming. All clues to a person's total state. It reflects their attention to detail and organizational skills, and where they've been in their day.
5) Look and listen REALLY HARD for their outer and inner beauty. I call this the "Cinderella effect." Just because someone may be dishelved or not have that today natural beauty does not mean first on the outside they couldn't spruce themselves up with some teeth whitening, cosmetics, skin care or a good bubble bath. Next look for the inner beauty. There is an inner spirit, peaceful or agitated. Listen to the laughter or lack thereof. Look for smiles or frowns. Have complete faith that persistent frowns can be turned around into gorgeous smiles with a little love and the right environment.
6) Look for toxicity. Some people's invisible side shows a lot of moral turpitude. A snake oil salesman if you will. Smile in your face but steal your wife or husband at the drop of a hat. Some people never grow up.
7) With children always let them see in YOUR eyes the high expectations of GREATNESS. This is planting seeds in their invisible sides of what they can become. Kind of a reverse seeing the invisible, but creating the invisible.
8) Finally, work hard at listening with your heart. It is a feeling, and emotional connection you have to be patient with to tie into. Helen Keller who was both blind and deaf had this down pat. She said "The most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt in the heart."
Let you heart be the compass, the true guide in seeing all that is invisible in other people. Trust me, from someone who is VERY good at this, it will never let you down.
Me first! Heehee! I just love being the first to comment on yours, Gary because you're just SOO popular! I love this post--unfortunately for me (and I'm not being negative!), I don't read negativity or sarcasm when it's right in my face! PollyAnna, I guess, huh?
I will have to say that listening is a trait that many people lack. As you said in a former post, it's good to have a good balance and I do try to maintain that balance. I'd much rather listen than talk though!
Another wonderful post, Gary!
I really like #8.
Listening between the words and using your highly refined gut instinct, Gary, is probably a major reason you are so wildly successful today.
Great post as usual Gary I'm trying to get better at all of this especially number 2. I'm afraid that to many times I don't bother to read between the lines. I try to remind myself that not everything is black and white.
Oh I was so entertained by this picture...I seem to have a lot of invisible men in my life (Carole P. will know what I mean--LOL!) Anyway, you have stressed the essential points to remember that are invisible to the eye but felt with the heart... and you ARE very good at this, Gary---one of the very best! Thanks for this post.
I always look in and around people. I 'm very in tune with body language. I spend 9 years as an image consultant.
Gary, You got me thinking on this one. I always thought I listened with my gut but with my ever expanding waistline, maybe it is my heart. Great stuff.
Gary - You are a great mentor for all of us. These principles discussed in your post can be applied to every aspect of life.
GARY, I LOVED that show. I had completely forgot about it. You are right it is sometimes those silent clues that speak louder than a thousand words.
Good things to think about more often.
Gary - your insight, wisdom and compassion are such a gift. You are truly blessed, my friend. Truly blessed. Your thoughts are always right on target and so very full of inspiration and introspection. Thanks for another one of your terrific posts.
HI GARY!
You're right on with #1 & #2. And I really love #7...children want to please you, they hang on your every word, I read that and I can just see into my babies eyes. As you can tell, I have a soft spot for the yungins!
I beleive strongly in listening to all signs and included in that is the simple feeling you get if you are truley in tune with your inner self.
well written
thanks
Gary - He may be invisible, but his aura is still showing. It's purple!
Gary, As usual they are all wonderful points but my favorite is to let children see the high expectations of greatness. I truly believe children rise to what you believe them to be and surpass so many things that others told them they couldn't do. I always believed in my children--and they always rose up to meet that.
"The most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt in the heart." - I just love these words. It's defines a genuine person!
Hi Gary ... Listening with your heart can change the way you see people ...
Gary - Right you are. Many people don't actually see all of the little signs that indicate the real person they are dealing with. It is easy to do with the hectic lives of real estate agents. I know I am guilty of getting too busy and missing indicators.
Hi Gary, I will send you an e-mail tomorrow as I have a question for you that maybe you will help me with.
Another interesting post that I can relate with. I some times think I have also see and expereince the invisibleness of a person. Your point on toxisty is a good one and I have seen my share of that here in California. Our industry like many others seems to attract its fair share of people that deal more in scarcity than in abundance. That is not to paint with a too wide brush but I saw it at different levels of industry leadership quite clearly. It was a suprise to me as one would really think that true leadership traits would not allow for it. The truth is perhaps stranger than fiction.
Debe: I suffer from that Pollyannish trait as well, where you give the benefit of the doubt too long. Endlessly hopeful, but we can get disappointed. It is the mark Debe, in you, of a VERY GOOD person.
Hi Mel: I think you are good at #8 and probably zero in on the true person VERY fast. You probably got good at this with experience with many types of people.
Elizabeth Weintraub: You are definitely too kind. Your check is in the mail : )
Justin: I think the key to picking up the other signs is to stop talking and watch instead.
Mara: Are we talking romance problems with you? LOL. You'll have to fill in the blanks for me sometime, unless this is girl talk between you and Carole P. You are a very good heart listener Mara.
Lizette: As an image consultant, you probably could give a class on reading all the nonverbals and sensing others.
Richard: I'm sure you listen with your heart. I can tell you are a good person when you poke fun at yourself.
Sharon: Yes, we start with real estate here sometimes then venture into the rest of our lives.
Marchel: Have to go back to the black and white TV shows for that one. But the unspoken communication sometimes speaks volumes.
Sandy: Right you are.
Carol Smith: Thank you for your words. They mean a lot to me.
Yvette: Those little eyes are watching. Glad you know that one.
Connie: I agree that if you are in tune with your inner self you just KNOW IT!!
Myrl: I like that thought of still seeing the aura. There are signs for sure.
Carole: Expectations of goodness can make children soar, I agree.
Carol Culkin: YOU are a genuine person. One of the MOST genuine.
Marie: Changing the way you see people is something we should all take a double take on. Excellent point.
Pat: Thanks for describing how you digest what you read. Even though I pick on your comments (impossible to do in 50 words or less), I have figured out it is because you have a lot to say. And if I am to be a respectful "listener" I have to hear you out. I actually have gotten better with regular listening (not the heart listening) over time. You are giving me more practice. You are turning into the Queen of the YouTubes Pat. I like Queen and didn't know they did an Invisible Man song. And Listen to your Heart has always been a favorite. How'd you know? Now you are reading my mind LOL. This IS getting scary. I knew you had some D in you. To me, that was a given. I never tell anyone what to do. This is a platform.
Chastity: You are right in saying to slow down to pick up the indicators.
William: I look forward to your email. Truth being stranger than fiction I believe is the norm. The real world is far more weird than the imaginary one, yet the goodness in the world is underestimated as well.
Gary---AH YES---but then again isn't there a "Columbo" in all of us?----I sure have his vehicle I know:)
Listening with the heart and intuition will get you far. Intuition tells me you already knew that!!
We must be on the same wavelength, Gary. I pulled the old film, "The Invisible Man", with Claude Raines in the starring role, off of the shelf and watched it yesterday afternoon while I was preparing a little lunch. It's a masterpiece. Being able to see with the heart is paramount. That's what Helen Keller meant. Please enjoy the link I've included for you. It echos your philosophy with grandeur.
The Enchanted Square
Happy Holidays.
Gary--Learning to recognize toxic people from those who are genuine takes real skill. Eventually true colors show. Paying close attention to gut feelings can really help to tell one type from the other. Obviously you have run into many people who fall into both catagories. I have no doubt that you surround yourself with those who are genuine. :)
Gary,
These are some very good points to help us all in getting to know people. I am still working on this and someday soon I hope to have it down.
Okay Gary I really love this post because I have that ability to see much more than the obvious. What you don't see readily is usually where you should focus.
Have a great weekend.
Gary, sometimes our clients think we are psychic mind readers or something, and it's just about listening and observing!
Gary, man that is a great post. I like the Helen Keller tie in and the beautiful correlation between experiencing the beauty of what is inside us and helping people realize it.
Thanks
Bo
Hi Pat: Loved that Drench Spring Water commercial video and that song. I love rhythm and passion. That should be a given with me. You need to really get your sleep. I am starting to worry about YOU. I visited your bachelorette party blog. You are not fooling me with a Ladies Only Club. I think it is a wild gathering of the female types for who knows what kind of ruckus you all will cause. I think I'll feel safer if I pack my ruby slippers and wig back away. If you're looking for the speedos and cowboy hats from the males invited I know it is a bachelorette party. By the way, which lucky woman is getting hitched up? Or will these just be regular weekly occurrences at your place? I know you'll attract many ladies from Active Rain if this is up your sleeve. I'll warn Richard and William to watch out for you and your plans.
Charles: Columbo is such a fascinating character. He probably is your alter ego Charles.
Susie: You have GREAT intuition. Keep using that gift.
David Saks: Great Enchanted Square cartoon from 1945 with the Raggedy Ann doll and visiting the land of The Enchanted Square and seeing all the beauty from the heart. That cartoon definitely fit this post. Thanks for finding it. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Glad you're an Invisible Man fan too.
Teri: When you find the toxic types, run. The genuine types are a pleasure to be around.
Don: Practice. practice. practice. And you will get good at this.
Jennifer: Look for what is not obvious. Exactly.
Patricia Kennedy: That is the key you are right. Listening and observing.
Bo: If you can EVER see the inside beauty of a person, then you really know them.
Heartwarming and true, Gary. Often we need to approach people with eagerness and curiosity - what can I learn from this person. Everyone has something we can learn.
Hi Gary...You really got to me with #s 7 & 8.
You are definitely one of the reasons I love being in the Rain.
Kate
Hi Sharon: I do believe that too, that we can learn from everyone.
Hi Kate: I liked the one about the children and developing their invisible side too. I like you here at Active Rain too Kate and all you contribute. One of my most favorite blogs of yours was developing Active Rain eyes to see the next blog. I do that a lot.
Sometimes you need to listen with the heart AND with your mind...:-)
Good Morning Gary-I've been away for a few days and just stopped in to see what my favorite online author had been up to while I was away. Goodness! You've been very busy indeed. I won't take up too much of your time. I did scan all 3 stories and absolutely adore the little guy with the red hat. That expression is priceless. As well as meaningful and creative blogs, you also have the unique talent of finding the bestest pictures. I picked this one to comment on as it speaks to me probably the best. I do like to remain invisible in many ways. Not hiding really. Just don't like the spotlight put on me personally. I can relate to many of your points. I think one of my biggest faults perhaps is wanting to see so much the inner beauty of people that I sometimes miss #6 (toxicity)in some people. Those people can and have been very hurtful to this gentle quiet soul of mine. I do my best to put those people behind me as it can be emotionally and physically challenging. I instead surround myself with people that I have learned to trust my heart with, as well as lots of inspirational and positive material as much as possible to offset that. I think my strongest characteristic is #8(listening with your heart)It is my biggest compass that has guided my life. I really don't know how to be any other way. Even though I will only comment on this one as to spare you too much reading by commenting on all 3 of your new ones since I've been away. I have read and enjoyed all 3 of them I will just add this thought from your blog "with the little guy with the hat" Many think that I'm boring because I enjoy the status quo and like a certain amount of sameness or security. I love to laugh, have fun and make other people happy and am at my happiest when others around me are happy too. I just enjoy doing so as the spectator in the room and not the life of the party. I truly love most people as long as they are kind and loving. I'm just not good at breaking the ice with new people. Maybe that's why this online presence, even though not invisible is easiest for me because I do get to talk to some one new(you) since I took the first scary step and talked to you here. Maybe in time we will get to have that face to face communication or phone conversation. If that is something that you would be open to. I would be, as I feel that your offline presence is equally as kind and inspirational as your online presence is. It gives me a very warm feeling inside thinking one day that may be possible, probably just not quite yet, but it does give me something possible to look forward to. I want to say thank you so much for listening and talking to me as well as your valuable time. I do appreciate it so much. I also want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving in the event neither one of us gets the chance to talk again before then. Now since I do listen so well with my heart I will now address you only by your God-given and not kind "sir" Kind yes. I'll just say instead you are a kind, thoughtful,inspiring man "Gary Woltal". May I ask this? How do you pronounce your last name? I guess I talked a lot again so I will say goodbye for now and Bless you Gary Woltal <smile>
Liz: Listening with heart and mind gets you the TOTAL picture I agree. The visible AND the invisible.
Hi s.lee.p: Good to see you again. You have been missed around here by me and the other readers. You see, they just don't read me, they read YOU. They are clamoring for you to go over to their posts and make comments over there. See how popular you become so fast here. Glad you are good at reading hearts. A real talent there. Never apologize for who you are or your personality type. Each one has its strengths. Shy people can be much more sensitive to others. Glad I am no longer Mr. "Sir." I was feeling like 99 years old with that one and in reality I am only 12 (my child like wonder you know). My pronounciation of my last name, which has Austrian roots, is "wall-tall." Some pronounce the o part which I let them slide with it. Stop by any other time in the future or email, call, or visit. I'm easy to get a hold of. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well.
Amazing what you can learn by simply paying attention isn't it.
I'm so late to this party! What great words...I need the lesson in listening. I appreciate your advice so much. It's great that you share your beautiful soul with us. Thanks, Gary.
This is such a great thought! This type of listening is the most important kind! Hope you have a terrific Thanksgiving!